Almost Lost
by gallatica7
Summary: Reposted. [Final chapter up.] A soulswitching spell. Jealousy, lust, rage and confusion. [SanzoGoku]
1. Chapter 1

Just re-posting! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. Gimme a break, will ya?

Pairings: so far…Sanzo/Goku, hints of Gojyo/Hakkai

"Three rooms".

Son Goku looked up at his guardian, his master, and his lover.

Genjo Sanzo.

He felt a certain pain deep in his heart, for he knew that they would not be sharing rooms tonight. He was sure of that, since Hakkai and Gojyo had already taken their room key from the innkeeper and were currently on their way to their said room.

So Sanzo wanted to be alone tonight.

He felt pained, yes, and yet… he felt somewhat relieved.

Relieved because it was raining, and he had a certain phobia of being in the same room as Sanzo when it was raining. Goku had a painful memory of that already. Sanzo had said hurtful words, when all Goku wanted to do was take care of him. Goku had been worried, but it seemed that Genjo Sanzo, Highest-Ranking priest of Togenkyo, did not like being fussed over, especially not when he was sick. No siree, that made him look weak. And Genjo Sanzo wasn'tweak.

That cruel day, Goku had felt as if his heart was being sliced as he heard Sanzo's harsh words. He had then run away, only to be captured by none other than Homura Taishi, a fighting god whom had made his intentions of wanting Goku _quite_ clear.

Thankfully, Homura had released him, even though the reason was still unclear to him, Goku. He still thought about it, sometimes, but then Sanzo would come and hit him with the harisen and tell him to stop being such an idiot. Goku would then snap out of his stream of thoughts and grin up at Sanzo...just before jumping up and circling his arms around Sanzo's neck. No, Sanzo wouldn't throw him off, not before hugging him back and murmuring '_bakasaru_', anyway.

So Goku trudged to his own room, the room where he would be sleeping_ alone._

_/ Snap out of it, Goku! You've slept alone before! Stop being such a drama queen! /_

_/ I'm not being a drama queen! It's just that- /_

BANG!

Goku was once again jolted out of his thoughts when Sanzo had deliberately slammed his own room door.

_/ Sheesh! I didn't even get to say good night! /_

_/ It's__ raining, for crying out loud! It won't _be_ a 'good' night! /_

_/ Yeah, yeah, I know…/_

Goku surveyed his room. It wasn't much, nothing out of the extraordinary, a four-poster bed with a night lamp, a small dresser, and a cupboard at the other side of the room. It even had a small bathroom. Goku changed into his sweatpants and a white T-shirt. He yawned, and then headed to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. The water felt cool, and refreshing, so he splashed some more.

Wait. What was that?

Goku snapped his head up, and glanced around his room again. He was sure that he felt something. His gaze traveled to the open window at the left-hand side of the room.

/ Probably just the wind, Goku. Nothing to worry about. / 

But he certain that it wasn't the wind…no, the wind did not feel like that. The wind does not caress your body in thatway, nor does the wind make your bone chill and your heart clench.

_/ Maybe it does, ya know, on rainy nights? /_

_/ Yeah, it **is** kinda cold outside. Didn't Hakkai say so himself? /_

_/ Yeah! Then Gojyo had suggested that he **warmed** Hakkai up a bit, which got him a nice fat lump on the head, 'cause Sanzo said that they were 'embarrassing' him. /_

Goku sniggered, and made his way to shut the window.

/ Funny, though, the wind isn't even blowing this way, or else the whole room would be soaked with rain. /

_/ Let's just stop it with the wind, okay?! /_

_/ Okay, okay, don't have to get all uppity … /_

_/ Still, you _would****_have__ liked the chance to go running to Sanzo's room, wouldn't ya? /_

_/ That is _so_ not true! Sanzo is probably in such a foul mood, that he would shoot me before I even knock on his door! /_

_/ Then don't knock…you've done it before…/_

_/ Shut up! That is so not the point! /_

_/ Goku, Goku, are you telling yourself to shut up? /_

_/ Grr…/_

Just then a rumbling sound could be heard. Goku's first instinct was of course to look down at his stomach.

Nope, it wasn't him,his stomach was content after devouring almost everything on the menu at the restaurant earlier.

_/ It's just thunder, idiot. Trying to find yet **another **reason to go get Sanzo? To tell him you're hungry? /_

_/ Shut up! I was just checking to make sure! /_

_/ Yeah, right. /_

At that moment Goku realized that he was arguing with himself. Again.

/ on…you were just feeling lonely, that's all. Who else better to keep you company but yourself? /

_/ Sanzo, for one…/_

_/ But Sanzo doesn't even say anything! /_

_/ Yeah, but he holds me close! And he kisses me gently! Especially when I have those nightmares!_

_/ Hmm…can't argue with that.. /_

So Goku climbed onto his bed, and curled up in the not-so-thick blanketthe inn had provided. He closed his eyes, and wondered what Sanzo was doing in his own room…

/_ He's probably just smoking, he always does that. You've seen him before, at the temple. Before you get chased out. /_

_/ Why, though? Why does he get all angry and even more cold on rainy nights? What had happened to him? /_

_/ Yeah__, the rain isn't all that bad…you've played in it before.. /_

_/ Maybe someday he'll tell me. / _

_/ Yeah. Someday. /_

_/ Wait, does that mean he doesn't trust you _now_? Trust you enough to share his secrets? What if he **never** trusts you? /_

_/ I don't care! As long as I would be able to love him, it won't matter if Sanzo doesn't feel the same! / _

And so it went on. The battle inside his head was enough to give him a migraine. But Son Goku wasn't a type of person to get migraines. No, he was always a happy chap, leading a simple life without wasting time complicating things. Nope, migraines and headaches from thinking too much were for people like Sanzo, and maybe Hakkai. He wondered for a moment if Gojyo was capable of having migraines. Nah, the kappa would be too busy thinking up perverted things so that he and Hakkai could enjoy themselves later at night when they thought nobody was listening. Goku didn't think it was possible to get even a mild headache from thinking like Gojyo.

/ _Would you stop it with the migraines already? Geez…/_

Here we go again….

He desperately tried to think of other things which did not concern a certain golden haired monk with beautiful eyes of amethyst.

Goku remembered an incident back at Chang An, when a merchant had brought crystals to sell, and Goku had _oooh_ed and _aaah_ed at the many stones. He then spotted an amethyst at the end of the wide range of crystals, and in his excitement he pointed it out to Sanzo. _So beautiful,_ he had said, _just like your eyes, Sanzo._

He didn't expect Sanzo to blush, really, he didn't. And he didn't expect the other monks to stare, but they did. Well, one thing was for sure. He did expect the harisen to come down upon his head, but alas, he was not fast enough to get away from it.

Goku winced at the memory. The youkai that they fought almost everyday had always feared him when they saw his agility, his power, his stamina, and his speed. Yet Sanzo was always faster when it came to the harisen.

/ It's the same when Sanzo is about to kiss you. You could have a hunch that it was going to happen, just a small hunch, but when it does happen, it's like totally unexpected. /

_/ Yeah, it's like, he moves so fast that you never see it coming until his mouth is hot on your own. /_

Goku felt a blush rise up to his cheeks. When was the last time they shared a kiss? It seemed like forever since Sanzo had held him close and kissed him silly.

So lost in his thoughts was Goku that he did not notice the ice cold chill that had crept in the room. Nor did he notice tendrils of ghostly white fog appear suddenly and swirl around his four poster bed.

_/ It's so cold…wait, didn't I just shut the windows?/_

Goku suddenly sat up straight in his bed, looking around his room. It was then when he heard it.

Give yourself up to me, Son Goku… 

"What the-"

Come to me… Be with me…I'll protect you… 

Sudden realization smacked Goku right in his face. There was only one person that he knew of who would make such an offer.

"Homura".

Goku felt himself being frozen on his bed, unable to move. The tendrils of white were circling his bed, coming closer by the second. Goku started to panic.

/_ Leave me alone!! I don't want to go with you!! /_

_Why not, Son Goku? What do you have here? Nothing. But with me…things would be different. With me, you'll have everything._

Goku was really frantic by now. He couldn't move. He was sure that when the white fog reached him, he would he helpless. Homura would bring him back to Konran Tower, and only god knows what might happen to him there. Of course, he was already helpless now. He couldn't even scream for help. He shut his eyes tight as crystal droplets fell from his eyes and down his smooth face.

_/ Sanzo…/_

__

A/N: Congrats!! You have made it this far without hitting the back button!! Um..…hope you haven't died of boredom yet…but then again, you would have to be alive to read this, right? ;;

Maybe I could have some feedback about this chapter? XD


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the second chapter! Thanks to all that reviewed!! -hugs-

To golden-eyed-heretic:I'm glad you liked the first chapter, and as for your question, well, that's because I _like _pairing Sanzo and Goku up together. :D

To ashttoreth: Oh my...I'll try my best! And I really hope I don't disappoint you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki

Pairing: Sanzo/Goku.

* * *

/_Sanzo/_

Sanzo's blond head snapped up. He had been brooding by the window, chain-smoking, when he heard Goku calling him.

"Damn saru. Can't he just shut the fuck up?!" Sanzo growled angrily. He had chose not to room with his golden eyed lover for just _one_ night, and now he's had to suffer from that ape's endless whining? Can't that saru just quit stop torturing him all the time?

Sanzo suddenly felt his insides twist. _/What the fuck was **that?!/**_

His heart pace quickened. He felt something… he closed his eyes and concentrated on Goku. _Panic_. That was the first feeling that was thrown at him. _Fear_. The second. Then a great wave of _Homura_ hit him hard in the face.

"**Fuck**!"

He reached for the door, gun in hand, cigarettes completely forgotten. On his way out he grabbed the Maten Sutra. Just in case. _Please don't let me be too late…please../_

He shot down the lock of Goku's room door, and barged in without second thought. "Goku, what-"

He was cut off at the sight at Goku. His young lover was sitting up on the inn's bed, completely frozen. His eyes were wide with panic and fear. So he was right, after all. But where was Homura? And why wasn't Goku moving?

He then noticed the white fog that was surrounding Goku's room. The room was dark, or he would've seen it earlier. The ghostly white tendrils of the fog were swirling around Goku, as if holding him in place.

And Sanzo could sense Homura in that fog. / _That fucking kami-/_

He moved towards Goku, not sure what to do. / _Whatever it is, I'm not letting the bastard_ _touch Goku again_./

Sanzo withdrew his gun, and fired a shot into the fog. As he expected, it did naught but create a hole in the room's wooden floor.

/ _Fuck. Why isn't the saru moving? What did Homura do to him?/_

Finally he grabbed Goku from the bed, cursing under his breath as Goku remained motionless.

Sanzo watched, surprised, as the fog that was almost close in swallowing Goku just mere seconds ago vanished. As if it was never there. The only trace of its presence was the bullet hole in the floor where he had fired earlier. That, and also the fact that Goku was still not moving.

"Oi! Goku!", Sanzo called out frantically. /_What's wrong with him? Don't tell me that Homura- /_

His thoughts were cut off as Goku stirred. Sanzo readied a glare at him. He felt like exploding, though he wasn't sure if it was from relief.

He lost all intention of putting a bullet through his lover's head, though, as soon as Goku locked eyes with him.

"Sanzo, Sanzo…I-I was so scared!", he gasped, and then breaking into tears, clutching onto Sanzo's skin tight leather top. "I couldn't move, and I couldn't even shout for help!"

Sanzo softened his glare. "Baka", he said softly, running his fingers through Goku's dark chocolate colored hair. He gently wiped the tears from Goku's face.

/ _Please don't cry…I hate to see you crying…/_

"I thought you wouldn't come", Goku said softly, tears still streaming down his face. "I thought that if Homura got me, it'll would have been the end of us".

"Don't say that", Sanzo said gruffly. And then, "Of course I would come, I'm responsible for you, right?"

Sanzo watched Goku nod his head slowly, relief written on his beautiful features. But it was little compared to the relief that Sanzo was feeling.

/ _I could've been too late…I could've failed to protect you_…_I should I never left you_ _alone…Homura was probably waiting for an opportunity like this_. /

A small smile spread over Goku's face. "I wont cry anymore, Sanzo, you said that only the weak cry", he said, wiping away his crystalline tears with his sleeve.

"You're not weak, Goku," Sanzo replied, carrying Goku to back to his own room. "You're far from weak".

* * *

Homura was fuming. Really _fuming_. He had everything worked out. All he had to do was wait for an opportunity to arise. And arise it did, when Konzen had left Goku alone in another room. 

All he had to do was cast the spell, and wait till it enveloped Goku's body. _His, small,_ _attractive body_, Homura couldn't help adding.

But no, Konzen just _had_to barge in. Just when the spell was about to complete its final stages. The transporting spell that he had used was very powerful, and very rare, for that matter. He had gone through great means to get his hands on it. The only setback of the spell was that it could only be used _once. _

Homura gritted his teeth in frustration. / _What had gone wrong?/_ He still couldn't figure out why the spell had just evaporated when Konzen had grabbed Goku. It would have been a different matter if the spell evaporated _with _Goku, but _no_, it just _had _to fail.

He clenched his fists in anger, feeling his mood worsening. He had been waiting for so _long _to get his hands on Goku again. He almost regretted it when he had allowed Shien to persuade him to release Goku the first time. It was not the time, Shien had said.

Hell, he Homura knew that it wasn't the right time yet, but the sight of Goku had made him want to _have_ Goku right there and then. It was after that when he realized that he would _have _Goku, whether it was the right time or not.

Even the very thought of the golden-eyed beauty made his pants seem _very_ tight. / _We're both heretics…though he is a **pure **one, if you could put it that way, being made by the_ _earth's aura_.

A sudden notion crossed his thoughts. He grinned insanely as a plan took place in his mind. Maybe he could still get Goku after all…

* * *

A/N : Hahar….I know, you don't have to tell me...this chapter is even more worse compared to the last one…it's even shorter…XD . Review if you want too, I would really appreciate some feedback! 


	3. Chapter 3

Um, this chapter contains lemon…

You have been warned. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki

* * *

Sanzo placed Goku on bed, and stepped back to take a good look at his golden-eyed lover. Goku still seemed kind of dazed, as he blinked and looked around the room.

"Goku".

Goku shifted his gaze to Sanzo's face. Sanzo was still looking at him expectantly. Goku blinked again.

Sanzo let out a small sigh before moving towards Goku. He stopped about two feet away from him, still not taking his eyes off Goku. Goku fidgeted in his position. /W_hy is Sanzo staring at me like that?/_

Sanzo then averted his gaze to stare out of the window, where the rain was still pouring. Goku hesitantly climbed to the edge of the bed and sat there.

"I don't know what happened", he said, answering Sanzo's unasked question. "I was just lying there, when there was this mist in the room, and then it started to circle me, and then I couldn't move, and then you came." He took a deep breath and tried to calm his still racing heart. /_ Note to self: it's still raining .Don't know what Sanzo might do. /_

Goku was certainly right about his last thought, for that very moment, Sanzo grabbed his arm, and promptly leaped out of the window with him in tow.

* * *

Hakkai snapped his head up from Gojyo's tanned body where he had been sensually toying with the redhead's nipples.

"What's the matter, koi? " Gojyo asked affectionately. Hakkai scrunched up his nose a bit. "I think I heard something land outside."

"Youkai?", Gojyo asked, sitting up and resting himself on his elbows, his features somewhat disturbed. Hakkai shook his head slightly, "No, I don't sense any youki".

"Aww…then why did we stop, baby?" Gojyo said teasingly, moving up to lick at Hakkai's ears where his limiters where. He pushed Hakkai down to the bed, where he was lying just a few moments ago. "I better make sure that you're at the bottom, babe, just in case something _else _decide to interrupt us. That way, you can't get up." Gojyo grinned seductively and moved to suckle at Hakkai's lower lip.

Hakkai's cheeks went bright red before he pulled Gojyo closer to his body. "I love you", he murmured against Gojyo's lips. "And I love you, my green-eyed beauty", came the reply.

* * *

Goku tried to keep up with Sanzo as they ran through the forest. It was still raining, and he was getting soaked. His mind was still reeling from the leap out of the window. Thankfully, they were only at the first floor, and the jump wasn't _that_ high. Sanzo had landed on his feet like a skilled feline, whereas Goku had a more ungraceful landing right into Sanzo's waiting arms.

Now they were running, running in the wretched rain through the wretched forest to God knows where. Goku had already lost his footing twice, since the ground was so muddy and slippery, and only to have Sanzo pull him along without stopping. Goku winced as he slipped again.

/_Make that God _and_ Sanzo, who knows where we're heading to. _/

Goku suddenly realized that the rain was no longer battering down on his already drpping body. He looked up, only to find himself in a cave. Almost immediately, memories of being sealed in a cave for 500 years rushed into his mind. He closed his eyes, and forcefully pushed those unwanted memories back into his head. No, he would not think of that. He was _free_ now. _Sanzo_ had freed him. Speaking of which-

Goku opened his eyes the tiniest bit. He was met with amethyst, amethyst that were blazing with life instead of their usual cold, emotionless state.

"Sanzo?". _One question to ask them all. -_1-

The said priest cupped Goku's cheeks with his cool palms, and crushed his lips against Goku's.

Sanzo kissed Goku for all he was worth, his tongue dancing inside the young earth spirit's mouth. He slowly pushed Goku to the floor of the cave, all the while not breaking contact. His mind felt like a washing machine, spinning round and round…. -2-

What were they doing here? How did he know there was a cave in this damned forest? _Why did he even jump out of the window?_

Sanzo realized that he did not know the answers to his last two questions. But for the first…

He pushed off Goku's soaked cotton shirt, exposing the smooth, tanned skin underneath. Goku's hands were groping, as they tried to reach for Sanzo's zipper. Sanzo then left Goku's mouth despite the small moan of protest. Instead, he attacked the pulse point that was situated beneath Goku's jaw, where it met his neck. He bit into the soft skin, eliciting a small yelp from the golden-eyed boy. Satisfied, Sanzo licked the skin, confident that it would bruise.

Goku's movements were almost frantic as they removed Sanzo's skintight black leather top. It wasn't an easy task, as all of their clothing was wet with rain. He then wrapped his legs around Sanzo's waist, and brought up his hips to grind against Sanzo's. He was rewarded as Sanzo let a throaty groan.

_/ He's just so beautiful…/_

Not wanting to let Goku have all the fun, Sanzo slid below to remove the annoying piece of clothing that were Goku's pants, only to be greeted with Goku's bulging desire. He took Goku in his mouth, sucking needily, as Goku let out a load groan of pleasure. _/ He tastes so good…/_ He held Goku's slim hips as his young lover began to trash wildly around.

Sanzo moved upwards once more to toy with Goku's hardened nipples. He sucked, bit, and licked at them, enjoying the moans that escaped Goku's lips, moans that sent down jolts of pleasure to his throbbing arousal.

They were both undressed now, and were rubbing their bodies against each other, for Goku had somehow been successful in ridding Sanzo of his black leather jeans. Sanzo captured Goku's lips once again, feeding on his tongue hungrily. The heat was all around them, warming them from the coldness of the cave.

"I need to be in you…now…", Sanzo breathed in Goku's ear, his breath shallow and ragged, his need throbbing against Goku's thigh.

Goku merely nodded, and lifted a leg to Sanzo's shoulder. Sanzo cursed himself, he would not be able to use lubricant, as he did not have any with him. / _This might hurt him…/_

He entered Goku slowly, not wanting to hurt the slender youth beneath him. Goku shut his eyes tightly, his features twisted in discomfort. Sanzo leaned closer, and whispered sweet nothings into Goku's ear.

Goku seemed to calm down at Sanzo's voice. He gripped Sanzo's shoulder tightly, as Sanzo begin to move with rhythm. Together, they danced a sensual dance, as the rain continued to pour outside the cave.

He screamed into the night, his and Sanzo's voice as one as they finally reached climax, Goku's hot seed spurting onto their joined bodies. Sanzo came just seconds later, marking Goku as his own.

* * *

Goku awoke to the comfortable warmth of Sanzo's body against his own. Sanzo's still naked body. Goku's cheeks heated up, as his eyes traveled down Sanzo's lean frame, complete with milky white skin.

His attention was then focused to a small crackling fire just a few feet away from them. Sanzo had probably built it earlier. It was still dark outside, and the rain had slowed down to a light drizzle. Goku diverted his attention back to the still sleeping monk. One of his long legs was draped over Goku's body, as his hands circled him tightly, as if Goku was a bolster. His forehead was nearly touching Goku's, and his eyes were covered with his golden bangs.

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Sanzo's sleeping face. Without his usual scowl and his death glares, Sanzo seemed almost like the most beautiful angel. _/ My own angel, who gave me freedom. /_

_/ No, wait, Sanzo's even better than that. Sanzo is my sun. /_

Sanzo stirred in his sleep, his violet eyes fluttering open to meet with Goku's golden orbs. Amethyst once again sparked to life, and Sanzo nuzzled Goku's neck.

"Is this what you want? ", he whispered in his sultry voice. "What you desire?"

Sanzo pulled back from Goku's slender neck when he did not get a reply, only to be met with confused golden. "What do you mean, Sanzo?" Goku asked timidly, his thumb tracing Sanzo's jawline.

Sanzo let out a sigh, as he brought up a hand to feel Goku's soft chocolate hair. "Don't you think this is…" he swallowed and forced the word out of his mouth, "romantic?"

Sanzo felt like shooting himself right there and then. _Romantic??! _The word was not in Genjo Sanzo's vocabulary. But then again, that was before he met the beautiful youth.

He let out a small grunt and buried his now burning face in Goku's chocolate hair. Inhaling the intoxicating scent somehow calmed his almost frayed nerves. "Forget I said anything".

Goku, however, had other plans. It was not everyday his emotionless lover opened up to him. He pulled away from Sanzo. "You fucked me because you thought I wanted to?" he asked instead.

Sanzo frowned. "I did not just _fuck_ you, Goku, I made love to you."

Goku's heart sped up, Sanzo could feel it against his chest. That was probably the closest he was ever going to get into confessing his love for Goku.

Then again…

"I made love to you because I _love_ you, Goku. You were almost taken away from me back at the inn. I shouldn't have left you alone like that. Homura was waiting for such an opportunity, and I almost let him fucking succeed." He took in a deep breath before whispering, "I want you to be happy, love, because seeing you happy makes me happy. And as selfish as it sounds, I never want you to stop loving me. But I'm not exactly a model monk, so it doesn't matter if I'm selfish or not." _Note to self: take foot out of mouth. _

Sanzo tried to look indignant, but failed as he saw the look on Goku's face. He would remember that look for as long as he lived, he was sure of it.

"I love you too, Sanzo. With all my heart. And yes, this is what I want, but I wont complain if you don't _always _fulfill my desires." Goku's voice began to crack. He never thought this day would come. Never.

"You should, you know. I don't think I even deserve you." And with that, Sanzo leaned in and stole a passionate kiss from Goku's sweet lips.

* * *

1 I'm a LOTR fan, didn't ya know? XD

2 Washing machine. Heheh. XD

A/N : o.O

Okay….I hope that nobody tries to stab me for writing this…looks behind back

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!! -gives chocolate-


	4. Chapter 4

Reposted.

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki.

---

Genjo Sanzo is a corrupted monk. He smokes, drinks, gambles, swears, kills, and has hot sex with his disciple a.k.a. pet. So being a corrupted monk, it's only natural that he has certain unholy habits that other monks would _frown _upon. For instance, he was possessive. What's his is _his, _and only his, and if anybody has anything so say against it, well, they could fucking eat his bullets.

So it was only natural that Sanzo was currently pissed off at a certain kami for trying to take away his most priced possession, a very beautiful, adorable, sexy, and yet innocent earth spirit. Son Goku, the one and only.

The said earth spirit had made Sanzo his sun, and placed him in the center of his universe, and had sworn his love to him. Plus he was ever so loyal to the corrupted monk. Heck, Sanzo had claimed Goku as his own, and now Goku was his and his only.

Most people would think, _hands off, _but not a certain fighting god. _Oh no. _Homura would do just about anything to get his perverted hands on Goku, Sanzo knew that. And when he did, who knows what he might do to the young earth spirit. Goku would suffer, and Sanzo wasn't about to let that happen. Certainly not.

So Sanzo had decided to do what was best: protect Goku from the bastard. That of course included being near Goku at all times, even in the shower. Goku didn't mind, no, he just _loved_ the way his master shampooed his hair while his own hands would travel around the sexy priest's lean body.

Sanzo felt himself harden. /_Damn. That saru always makes me lose control. / _He snuck a peek at Goku. The said monkey was leaning against the side door of Hakuryuu, his chin resting upon his arms. He was staring into nothingness, and his eyes were glazed.

/ _Hmm… what are you thinking about, love?_ / 1

Goku suddenly blushed, and started smiling stupidly, while fingering the lovebite Sanzo had placed on the crook of his neck the night before.

/ _Aha. Gotcha…_ /

Sanzo glanced swiftly to his right to where Hakkai and Gojyo were. They seemed busy, with Gojyo nibbling on Hakkai's earlobe and all. He then shifted in his seat so he was in a better position.

Quick as lightning, Sanzo reached out and grabbed Goku from the backseat and placed him on his lap. Goku, still suffering from shock, was oblivious to what was happening until he felt Sanzo's tongue inside his mouth, dancing tauntingly.

Goku started to blush an even deeper shade of red when Sanzo's hands started roaming. He tried to concentrate on kissing Sanzo back, but it was easier said that done, one of Sanzo's hand was hovering dangerously close to his-

Goku finally let out a small squeak when Sanzo clamped his hand down on the most sensitive part of his anatomy. He tried to quiet down his groaning as Sanzo begun to handle it. Sanzo started gently, intending on causing Goku pleasure instead of pain.

He left Goku's already red lips to explore Goku's neck. He just couldn't seem to get enough of the boy. He nipped at Goku's ear, the low moans Goku was giving out arousing him. Goku was now unconsciously jacking himself into Sanzo's hand, and –

He was abruptly cut off by Hakkai's coughing. Pulling away from the now aroused youth, Sanzo realized that they weren't moving anymore. His hand stopped its little exercise, leaving Goku to fall on his neck, panting. He turned to face Hakkai, readied with one of his deadliest glares that would make any mortal turn and flee.

Hakkai had the decency to flinch just a bit, before clearing his throat and stating calmly with his usual smile, "I don't mean to interrupt, but it seems that we have company".

Sanzo swore as he tried to remove Lilin from his shoulders. He did _not _like the way she was clinging onto his hair, her short, stocky legs tight around his neck. Hakkai was busy bowing at Yaone, and Gojyo seemed to be enjoying himself with his half-brother.

Sanzo shifted his attention to Goku, who was currently fighting Kougaiji. _He looks like_ _he's having the time of his life_, the green-eyed monster in him whispered maliciously.

Goku _did _seem like he was having fun, dodging Kougaiji's attacks and expertly giving a few of his own. Kougaiji on the other hand was rejoicing in having a worthy opponent.

Sanzo mentally kicked himself. He was _not_ jealous. Genjo Sanzo did not get jealous. He would not let a trivial thing such as _jealously _cloud his mind. He imagined himself stomping down his jealously, which was shaped as a humongous green blob with way too many eyes.

Instead, he tried to focus his attention to how good Goku looked like that, his young and agile body enabling him to leap out of Kougaiji's fire attacks easily. Sanzo swore again as he felt Lilin's pudgy hand messing up his blond hair. He pointed his trusty Smith and Wesson's at the irritating youkai. "Get off or die", he said venomously.

"Mean baldie monk!" Lilin managed to screech before leaping off him. Looking around, she suddenly thought that she might as well grab the Sutra from Sanzo, since he seemed quite busy watching Goku.

Bad move. Sanzo pulled out his harisen, and it was pork bun shaped stars for poor Lilin. Sanzo turned away, muttering under his breath about pestering youkai's that were not worthy enough to shoot at because that would be a waste of his precious bullets.

He continued to Goku-gaze, admiring his cute pet. Of course, Sanzo would never admit that he actually _admired_ the sexy youth. No, he still had his dignity. He lit a cigarette, and kicked Lilin's side. The orange-haired youkai was still out cold.

Sanzo watched as Goku paused to swirl around, obviously looking for him. Sanzo waved lazily from where he was, under the shade of a nearby tree.

"Hurry up, saru, I'm starting to get impatient", he drawled. "The sooner you finish him, the sooner we can carry on".

Goku blushed a deep shade of crimson. Kougaiji, however, had a blur expression on his face. It was quickly replaced by a smirk.

"Was I interrupting anything?" he asked, not realizing what he was actually saying. Goku turned redder, if that were even possible.

Kougaiji, seeing the look on Goku's face, finally understood the full meaning of his earlier spoken words. He snorted loudly, momentarily forgetting his princely manners. He examined Goku closely, as if trying to figure out what the monk saw in him. He soon came to know that Goku was very attractive in his own way, and his youthful face only made him seem more beautiful.

The green-eyed monster in Sanzo started acting up again, jumping back to life from the mess of green mush that Sanzo had earlier stomped on. It doubled its size, as Goku stared back at Kougaiji, a puzzled look on his cute face. Goku was still trying to figure out why his favourite opponent had somehow forgotten all about their adrenaline pumping fight, oblivious to the fact that Kougaiji was giving him the look-over.

Sanzo let out a small growl, aimed at the youkai prince, and recklessly fired. A small tic appeared just below his left eye as the bullet whizzed right past Kougaiji's head, missing him by mere inches. The redhead started, and swirled around to meet a fuming (not to forget jealous) monk. He shook his princely head, and smiled a secret smile to himself.

"Doku, Yaone, let's retreat for today," he announced, causing Goku's jaw to drop. Homura was the one that usually retreated, Kougaiji always fought on until both parties were completely worn out.

Kougaiji frowned, noticing at last the lack of noise in the background. Where was his sister? His stomach lurched.

"Where's-"

"Right here, Kougaiji-sama", came Yaone's calm schoolteacher's voice, so very much like Hakkai's, yet so very different in their own ways. Kougaiji mentally breathed out a sigh of relief, seeing that Lilin was safe on Doku's shoulders, even though she was mumbling something about 'bald pork buns'.

"Oy! You haven't settled our fight yet!" Goku cried out, dismayed.

"Yeah, why the hasty retreat?", Gojyo said almost lazily. "You guys aren't chickening out on us, are ya?" Hakkai just laughed in a politely amused way.

Doku and Yaone turned to their prince, the same question on their faces. Kougaiji just shook his head, an I'll-explain-later look on his face. He raised his hand in a half wave. "We have other matters to attend to. I'll be seeing you soon", he acknowledged Goku. With that, they transported back to Tenjiku. 2

Sanzo, recovering from his state of jealously, finally kept his gun away. He felt furious, and he was angry with himself for being angry at Kougaiji. It was lucky that the youkai prince chose that moment to leave, or Sanzo might have done something even more embarrassing than losing his cool. And since when did petty feelings such as jealousy matter to him, anyway? Did Goku matter to him _that_ much? Sure, he lusted after the golden-eyed beauty, but he never thought that he actually _needed_ him. It frightened him, this new information, and he didn't want to confront it just yet.

Suddenly wanting to be alone, he lit a cigarette and stalked off into the dense forest. The cigarette felt good, calming his already frazzled nerves. Sanzo walked deeper into the forest, trying to solve his jealousy problem. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he did not notice the tiny gem that was glowing blue just a few feet away. Not until it was too late.

A/N : 1 Erm, I guess Sanzo would call Goku 'love' just in his thoughts.

2 Tenjiku? Is that right? I can't remember the name of the tower…


	5. Chapter 5

Reposted.

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Homura stared at the still unconscious monk. _He's quite pretty,_ Homura mused. _Not bad_, _not bad_ _at all._

But as _pretty_ as the monk was, there was only one being that Homura lusted after. And this monk here happened to be that special being's keeper. _And lover_, he hatefully added.

Oh well, all that was soon to change, Homura was certain of it.

Homura was actually surprised and outraged when it was the monk that turned up. He had expected young Goku who would have been naïve enough to go near the transportation gem. The gem worked in a way that when it sensed a presence in its boundary, it would immediately transport the victim to the desired place of the one who commands it.

Homura had been careful, setting it so that the gem would only take in those with a spiritually powerful mind, example Goku, but he had failed to acknowledge the fact that the monk, well, had strong dharma power, and that was close with understanding the spirit of the earth. _Damnation._ That was the second transportation spell that had failed to capture Goku. And this was not as complex as the previous one! Maybe he was losing his touch…

Homura continued to gaze down at the monk who was still out cold. _He was probably knocked out by the sheer force of power from the gem, serve him right for interfering,_ Homura thought maliciously.

Homura once again noticed that this replica of Konzen Douji was very attractive. He wondered for a moment if he would ever feel attracted to him, as the gods in heaven once were. Homura snorted. No, that wouldn't be possible. He liked to be in control, and he didn't think Konzen would want to be dominated. And besides, he only had eyes for Son Goku, who was far more _beautiful_ than Konzen. Homura then decided not to dwell on the fact that he might be nauseatingly in love with the earth spirit that he didn't consider attractive beings…attractive.

No, _he_ was in control here. He would be the one dominating Goku, not vice versa. He would not crawl on his knees and beg love from the golden-eyed beauty, simply because he needed it. / _But what if-_ /

No! He forcefully shoved the thought to the back of his mind, mentally locking it there, so that it would never emerge again. He was not a needy person, he was a Toushin Taishi, for heaven's sake!

Homura clenched his fists. The expression 'for heaven's sake' couldn't be any truer. He did not _choose_ to be a fighting god, he was ordered to. Why was he, of all people, selected to be the replacement of Nataku? He who was related to Tentei himself?

Because he was a heretic, that's why. Because his mother had spread her legs to a mere _mortal, _doing taboo. And what was the result? Him. Who was to pay? Him. Naturally.

Homura stared down at the shackles and chains on his wrists. They were heavy, and cold. And they were a constant reminder of what he was. Half-breed. Impure. Filth. _Itan_.

Goku had similar shackles when he was brought to Tenkai. But thanks to the Goddess of Mercy, he was chains-free. Still, Goku's shackles were probably heavier than his own. He had seen that disgrace of a general, Kenren Taisho try to lift the youth once, and he had seen the mixture of surprise and disbelief on the Taisho's face. Homura knew of the rebellious Taisho, he did not doubt his strength, it only pained his heart to see someone as young and innocent as Goku having to endeavor such torture.

And yet, Goku still roamed the grounds of Tenkai like the young earth spirit he was. He could not stay indoors for long. Homura had watched Goku while he picked beautiful flowers in the many fields of Tenkai, sometimes making chains and crowns out of them. Goku had given one to him, once when he was there, drowning in his misery for the lost of Rin-Rei.

It was the first time he had laid eyes on the youth. He had stared in shock at the unique color of Goku's eyes, which were so very much like his own, and at the shackles that bound him. The golden diadem upon Goku's russet hair did not go unnoticed.

Homura was awed at Goku's beauty, and the innocence in the youth's eyes. He had gazed at the tanned skin, the slim waist, and the lithe body of Son Goku with admiration before he could stop himself.

Homura could still remember the painful guilt that had invaded his mind soon after the slim youth had left, after Goku had proudly introduced himself.

Here he was, feeling totally useless after losing Rin-Rei, and when someone else skipped by, he started fantasizing about the person? True, Goku _was_ something to look at, but didn't he _love _Rin-Rei? Didn't he tell Tentei that he, Homura, was the one that should be exiled from Tenkai, not Rin-Rei? Hadn't he said that because he loved her and was ready to sacrifice himself for her?

Maybe…maybe he only thought he loved her. Maybe what he really wanted was someone to love _him_, to take care of him like no one had done before. He was locked up in a cell for all of his youth, he had never known love, and when he had met Rin-Rei, he had thought that he loved her. True love. But in truth, he only craved affection and kind words and loving smiles.

When the truth had finally dawned on him, Homura had felt as if he was drowning in guilt. Not sorrow, but guilt. It was eating him, from the inside out, this painful guilt of fooling someone that had loved him. For Rin-Rei had loved him truly, despite the consequences that would have to be paid.

Homura clenched his fists once again, trying to clear his cluttered mind. Instead, he focused his thoughts to Sanzo.

/ _They look almost exactly the same._ /

It was undeniable. Five hundred years down the road of incarnation, and still Konzen Douji managed to possess his known ravishing beauty. They even have the same cold, uncaring attitude, just that Konzen was more _bored _side. Until Goku barged in, of course.

But still, Konzen was undeniably less hostile than his reincarnation, example, Sanzo was more generous with his curses. Yet, they were one, for they shared they same soul.

Tenpou Gensui. The Marshall of the Western Armies, the most feared strategist in all of Tenkai, also known as the 'wife' of his subordinate, Kenren Taisho. Five hundred years later, and the both of them are still together. Bound by fate, somehow.

They didn't have their memories, not yet anyway. Things would have been _very _interesting if they did. But, rules were rules, as Homura had bitterly learned.

The monk stirred, and Homura watched, amused, as his hand immediately reached for his gun, even though not fully conscious. It was lucky for Homura that he had the sense of mind to remove the monk's weapons, including the Maten Koumyo and a very interesting looking paper fan.

Sanzo's amethyst eyes finally fluttered open after acknowledging the missing presence of his spirit-ascending gun. He was met with amused blue and gold.

/ _And now the fun begins._ /

-------------------

Hakkai could almost feel the strands of his hair turning white, one by one. It was not exactly an easy job, trying to reason with Goku that Sanzo was just _not _there.

They had searched the entire forest splitting into three, but neither had come up with anything. Right now, Gojyo was trying to hold down Goku, he had wanted to try searching more, and it was already nightfall, and there was a possibility that one could get lost in the thick growth.

"Look, saru, losing the monk is bad enough, but- _Ow! _Stop that you moron!" Gojyo yelped in pain as Goku struggled against his grip, kicking Gojyo in the abdomen in the process.

"Now, Goku, Gojyo's right. It would be worse if you got lost as well, this forest is really thick. And besides, Sanzo is perfectly capable of taking care of himself," Hakkai said, trying to pacify the frantic Goku.

"That's easy for you to say!" Goku suddenly screamed. "You still have Gojyo!

Goku stopped struggling and gripped his head. "What if something bad happened to him! What if he's hurt? What if he needs me and I'm not there!"

"Goku, we'll set camp and continue to search for him in the morning, okay?" Hakkai said, startled at Goku's sudden outburst. He had never seen Goku like this before.

"Yeah, saru, just calm down, goddamit!" The last thing we want is a rampaging monkey-youkai on the loose without the corrupt monk to-"

Hakkai cut him short with a quick shake of the head. He moved towards Goku, who still seemed almost hysterical. The small cracks forming on the golden diadem upon the youth's head was not a good sign.

/ _Oh dear. _/

Hakkai quickly enveloped Goku in a tight hug, one hand behind the golden-eyed boy's head. "It's alright, Goku, nothing has happened to Sanzo, you would have felt something", he said gently, speaking of the bond that Sanzo and Goku seemed to share.

Goku thankfully sank into Hakkai's warm embrace, sobbing uncontrollably. "B-but you don't un-understand", he sobbed. "I c-cant feel Sanzo anymore. He's not in the forest. He's gone!" Goku buried his head in Hakkai's shoulder, as the emerald-eyed brunette tried to digest this new information.

"You mean he's not in the forest anymore? He's somewhere else?" Hakkai asked, trying not to sound so shocked.

Goku shook his head, chocolate locks flying over his tear-stained face. "No, I would have sensed him if he was here."

"Then why did you want to go search for him again, when you knew he wasn't there?" Gojyo cut in suspiciously. When Goku hung his head down guiltily, Gojyo pounced again. "You were trying to go after him, weren't ya? Go on without us?" Gojyo prodded on.

"Goku?" Hakkai coaxed gently. Goku pulled away from Hakkai's shoulder, not meeting their gazes.

"I-I was scared. I thought that he might le-leave me", Goku choked. "Then I'll be all alone again!" He burst into a new batch of tears.

"Now, now, Goku…Sanzo wouldn't do that, I'm sure you know that by now", Hakkai said, stroking Goku's back gently in a motherly fashion.

"And whaddya mean you'll be all alone, saru?" Gojyo put in, lighting a cigarette. "You'll still have us. Your monkey brain to small to remember that?" he added, grinning.

"I'm not a monkey! And I _can_ remember that!" Goku fought back, his pale cheeks regaining some color.

"Why don't we set camp now, and in the morning we'll move on, okay? We'll look for Sanzo somewhere else, I'm sure we'll get lucky." Hakkai smiled at Gojyo, his thanks for livening up the distressed Goku.

Goku nodded, his eyes turning ancient and sad. When asked whether he would like anything to eat, he shook his head in the same depressed manner, and crawled into his tent with a soft good-night to Hakkai and Gojyo.

"We better find that corrupt monk", Gojyo muttered under his breath as he cuddled closer to Hakkai once in their own tent.

"Yes, I don't think I can take any more of Goku suffering like that", Hakkai replied, nuzzling Gojyo's neck.

"But what could have happened to him? The last thing I remember was Sanzo being red-faced during that fight with Kougaiji", Gojyo said, stubbing out his cigarette.

"I honestly don't know", Hakkai sighed dejectedly.

----------------------------------------------------

A/N: Poke poke

Oy, wake up, you're drooling all over the keyboard!

Feedback? If you're not too drowsy after this chapter? XD


	6. Chapter 6

**Reposted.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki.

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He had no gun. No sutra. Fuck, even his harisen was gone. Sanzo mentally cursed, his lips felt too numb to move.

He opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust his wavering vision. Fuck. What had happened? The last thing he remembered was stalking into that forest after Goku-

Warning bells went off in Sanzo's head. His eyes snapped fully open. He was met with none other than Homura Taishi.

"Fuck. Of all the people in this goddamned-world, it's you that I end up with."

Homura looked amused.

/ _Come to think about it, the fucking kami always looks amused about something. /_

"Aah…you're _finally_ awake, Konzen", Homura drawled.

"I'm not Konzen", came the heated reply. Sanzo was so sick and tired of being called that. He was Genjo Sanzo, for crying out loud!

"That's what you think," said Homura, still amused. "Aren't you wondering what happened?" he continued.

"Now that you've mentioned it, yeah", Sanzo replied coolly, his mind craving for a cigarette. But it looks like the kami had removed those as well. _Fucking idiot_.

"Surprisingly, you were stupid enough to walk right into the trap that I had originally set for Son Goku."

"Fuck you". Sanzo did not like being called stupid. Besides, the perverted kami was trying to get Goku again! He glared at the god.

Homura raised a hand, and suddenly Sanzo felt the sensation of being lifted. He narrowed his amethyst orbs. "Just what the fuck are you-"

His next words were painfully cut off as he was slammed into a hard wall. His head had painfully hit the stone wall as well, and Sanzo blinked as white light flashed in his vision. Blood came down his nose, trickling down to his chin.

Sanzo was dimly aware that his hands were being held up by something. He weakly moved his arms, only to find that his whole body was bound by chains. / _Chains. Typical._ /

Sanzo's attention was caught when he felt Homura's presence right in front of him. He was having trouble focusing, his head was spinning round and round and round…..

Homura lifted Sanzo's chin and brought his face closer to the monk's. He licked the blood that was currently trickling down the latter's porcelain skin before using a finger to trace the sharp jaw-line of Sanzo's perfectly chiseled face.

Sanzo turned away in disgust, only to find his face being gripped harder. He then settled for a cold, angry death-glare as he met Homura's eyes.

"Get you filthy hands of me, bastard", he spat out.

Something flashed behind the kami's eyes. Sanzo was confused, what was the bastard doing?

"You know", he whispered, his face inches just mere inches away, "you taste rather good".

Sanzo stared, horrified, before regaining his air of coldness once again. "What are you doing, Homura?" he asked dangerously.

Homura suddenly released his chin from the vice-like grip, his face back to its amused mask that he usually wore.

"I was just curious".

_Curious? _Homura was starting to grate on his nerves.

"But still, I think I prefer Son Goku. He's much more…sweeter", Homura went on, his own chin now resting on his shackled wrist. He licked his lips, as if remembering the sweet taste of Goku.

"Goku's **_mine_**. And he'll always be mine. What must I do to get that in your fucking brain?" Sanzo snapped angrily, his mind still reeling from Homura's previous gesture. Settling to believe that Homura was just a sick perverted bastard, Sanzo continued to glare at Homura, who _still_ looked amused. _Damn_.

"Well, that would just make it easier for me then", Homura said, his lips curving into a malicious grin.

"What are you talking about?" Sanzo asked suspiciously. He did not like this one bit.

"Let's just say that the so called devotion of Son Goku for you would come in _very_ handy to me".

Sudden fear gripped Sanzo's heart. He was usually fearless, and in any normal situation, Sanzo would have smirked, and asked Homura to just try him.

But this was Goku. Goku was different. Goku had a special place in Sanzo's heart; he was the only one Sanzo truly cared for. He loved Goku a lot, more than the saru actually knew. If something happened to Goku, Sanzo knew that he would never forgive himself. Hell, Sanzo knew that he didn't even think he could go on living without his Goku. It just seemed impossible. And Sanzo hated himself for that. Because Genjo Sanzo was supposed to live only for himself.

_Live your life the way you want it, never be captivated by anything or **anyone**._

It was the only thing he preached, it was what his master had told him. Sanzo didn't feel like going against his master's wishes.

But then again…what if that _was _the way he wanted to live his life? With Goku? Because something in him knew, that Goku was more than an ordinary being. That Goku was meant to be with him. That Goku was his muirn beatha dan. His soulmate. 1

Sanzo stared hatefully at Homura as the god neared him once again. The fighting god reached in his pocket, and produced a small vial filled with magenta liquid that actually g_lowed_.

He uncorked the vial, and brought it to his mouth. Homura smirked at Sanzo, despite the cold mask that Sanzo was desperately trying to keep. Homura then downed half of the glowing fluid, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Your turn".

"What the fuck do you mean you—ugh!" Sanzo couldn't help the groan of pain that escaped his lips as Homura hit him squarely in this gut. The next thing he knew, Homura was practically shoving the rest of the liquid down his mouth. Sanzo's throat immediately constricted, he wasn't as dumb as to swallow. Unfortunately, another punch in his already bruised ribs and he choked unwillingly as the liquid went down his throat.

It was cold, almost as if swallowing ice. It didn't have a taste, or maybe it was because it had numbed his tongue. Sanzo could feel it mix with his blood and spread throughout his body.

/ _Why am I feeling so weak?_ /

It was true. Sanzo's gut suddenly clenched, he doubled over in pain. His mind barely registered the fact that the chains holding him to the wall were no longer there. His head was hurting like hell, as if someone was hammering it with hundreds of needles, hammering and banging…He could not coordinate his movements as he fell to the cold floor, clutching his stomach in pain.

/ _Why am I feeling like this?_ /

Sanzo was dimly aware that Homura was beside him, kneeling down. _/ Or is he feeling the same way too/ _ It was possible, didn't Homura drink it as well? Or was he just imagining things? Sanzo couldn't tell for sure.

----------------------------------

He could only see black. Wait, there was something else. Something else in the midst of the never-ending blackness.

_Blood._

Now it was everywhere, pools of it. He was covered in it. He brought his hands up. They were dripping with the red substance, just like the rest of his body.

_/ Who's/_

Someone was there, just a little farther away from him. The figure was unmoving, perhaps dead. He crawled towards it.

/ _Master?_ /

Not again, please, he didn't want to relive this moment. He reached out a bloody, shaky hand and turned the figure around.

_Goku. _

He was screaming now, clutching onto Goku's body. The beautiful earth spirit had wounds all over his small frame, blood spilling out non-stop. His eyes were opened, lifeless.

But wait. No, Goku's lips were moving. He stopped screaming, and cradled Goku's head in his lap.

"G-Goku?"

Goku was staring at him, his eyes suddenly filled with --hate?

"Goku, please say something", he begged, his voice weak and cracked, while his fingers carefully pushed the soft chocolate locks from his eyes.

"You. It was _you_."

He stared, aghast. / _What is Goku talking about?_ /

"I hate you".

And with that, his lover's heartbeat stopped, leaving him to stare into Goku's loathe filled eyes.

Loathe for him, Genjo Sanzo.

He screamed. It was then when he realized that his gun was there, beside him. He reached for it, and gripped it tightly.

There was no point in living now. It was his fault. He was the one that caused all of this. It was because of him that Goku was now dead. He didn't deserve to live. He didn't _want _to live. Not without Goku. Not when he was the reason that Goku was no longer alive.

He brought up the gun and put the revolver at his forehead, where his chakra was. He closed his eyes. And fired.

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A/N: Okie, I think I messed up on this one. :(

1. Muirn beatha dan, it's Wiccan, and it basically means soulmate. I got it off Sweep, a book series by Cate Tiernan about Wicca. Anyone heard of it?


	7. Chapter 7

(Reposted)

Thanks for all your reviews! -distributes more chocolates.-

Try not to fall asleep while reading this, ok? XD

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Goku was jolted awake, his body shaking and drenched in sweat. Frantically, he scanned his surroundings. Something, no, _someone_ was missing. Sanzo. Where was Sanzo? Didn't they always sleep side by side?

Realization chose that moment to hit Goku just then, hard in the face. Goku gasped, and he choked out a sob. / _That's right. Sanzo's not here_. /

Goku brought his hands up to his face, trying to stop the tears from flowing. He felt totally and utterly useless, just sitting there and doing nothing, when Sanzo was out there, alone, and unprotected, and-

/ _No!_ /

He would not think like that. Hakkai's right, Sanzo was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Nevertheless, Goku could not stop the nervous feeling in his gut from whirling around.

Something was tugging at the back of his mind. Something _important_. Goku closed his eyes, trying to gather his scattered thoughts, trying to focus on that something.

/ _What is it?_ /

Why did he awake in the first place? Goku scrunched up his nose, trying desperately to remember. Was it a dream? No, it couldn't be that. More like a nightmare, perhaps. Goku hugged his knees close to his chest, and buried his head in his arms. Sanzo was always there when he had nightmares, those cold and painful nightmares of-

Wait. It was different this time, not like the others. It was about…_Sanzo?_

Goku let out another gasp as pieces of his nightmare came back to him, images that made no sense at all. First there was him, covered in blood, he was dying, and it looked like a painful death. Goku shuddered. Even though bloody deaths were quite common among his nightmares, to see himself dying was very unnerving.

Then there was Sanzo. Cradling him, tracing his lips, his cheeks, his entire face. Sanzo was crying. And then, Sanzo was…screaming. And finally, Sanzo pulled the trigger. On himself.

Goku's head started to pound painfully. He felt so scared, so alone in his tent. What did that dream mean? Was Sanzo alright? Did something happen to him? Goku lay back down on his sleeping bag, his head getting the better of him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying not to think of that frightening nightmare as rain started to fall outside, making pitter-patter sounds on the roof of his tent.

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Gold and blue eyes fluttered open. A curse could be distinctively heard, as chains swung and met together with a loud clang.

/ _What in the fucking world **happened?**_ /

Wait. What was he _wearing?_

"Oh fuck. Fuck! That _bastard_!"

He was cut off from his long train of curses, however, as something hard painfully hit the side of his head. Blinking fuzzily, he dropped down to the ground yet again.

/ _I swear I'll kill him._ /

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The rain made his golden bangs stick to his eyes. A hand came up and felt them almost in awe, before carefully pushing them away.

A flash of white in the dark night suggested a triumphant grin. / _This was probably the_ _last thing he expected_. /

He made his way to the two tents that were in the clearing of trees, trudging through the wet leaves and almost muddy ground. / _Just a little further more._ / His robes felt heavy, already drenched wet in the merciless rain. _It's a miracle that there's no bitter cold wind_, he thought sarcastically, as his teeth started to chatter.

His hand reached inside his sleeves, and he pulled out a pack of soaked cigarettes. He withdrew a soggy stick, examined it, before finally throwing the whole pack into the wet darkness surrounding him. / _Disgusting._ /

Finally reaching one of the tents, he stood there in the pouring rain, just staring ahead into the tent where an outline of a single sleeping bag could be seen. And in the bag, still blissfully asleep, lay the most beautiful being ever existed.

/ _Here I come._ /

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Goku was drifting in and out of consciousness. This was probably the worst night in his entire life, he thought miserably. First, his sun had to disappear, and then, he had this really weird nightmare that totally freaked him out. And now, to make matters even worse, he was having hallucinations that Sanzo had returned, and was kneeling directly above him.

Goku let out a tired groan, as one of Sanzo's cold hands stroked the side of his face. This was getting way too freaky for him to handle. / _Wait, just a sec, then why can you feel the_ _cold?_ /

He sprang up from his sleeping position, only to hit Sanzo's nose in the process. Could it be? Did he even dare to believe?

"S-Sanzo?" he whispered, afraid that it was just a illusion and might disappear at the slightest noise. "Is that really you?" he went on, praying that his distraught mind wasn't just playing tricks on him. He tentatively reached out a shaking hand and stroked his guardian's wet cheek.

His said guardian just smiled, and clasped his other hand on top of Goku's. Goku let out a startled gasp, before tears sprang to his eyes, not for the first time that night. / _You're such a wussy, you can't even control yourself!_ /

Goku ignored his rebellious thoughts and jumped into Sanzo's arms, choking on his tears. He felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he cried onto his sun's chest.

"Sanzo! I was so fucking _worried_!" he cried out, as Sanzo's hand came out to stroke his shaking body reassuringly.

"Really?" Sanzo replied, a small chuckle escaping his lips that were blue from the cold.

"Sanzo…" Goku murmured in surprise, it was the first time he'd heard Sanzo laughing. He placed his hands on the sides of Sanzo's face, and brought up his lips to meet with Sanzo's. He kissed Sanzo like he's never kissed before, pouring out his love, and relief that Sanzo was finally there with him, into that single kiss.

Sanzo responded to the kiss with equal passion, pushing Goku down to the sleeping bag. He was interrupted, however, as the entrance of the tent was pulled open to reveal a very disturbed Hakkai, with Gojyo right behind him.

"Sanzo!" Hakkai cried out, as Sanzo and Goku disentangled themselves.

"Huh? Where?" a confused Gojyo pushed past Hakkai to peek into the tent. "What the- So, the Oh-so-great Sanzo-sama finally had the courtesy to show up, eh?" Gojyo said, regaining himself from his shocked stupor.

"Gojyo…" Hakkai murmured warningly, as he elbowed red-haired gently. "What happened, Sanzo? We tried searching for you but …" Hakkai trailed off, stepping into the tent, pulling Gojyo along.

Sanzo waved a dismissive hand. "Just got into an unwanted situation. Nothing I couldn't handle," he finished almost casually.

Hakkai and Gojyo stared. Now _that_ was weird, where was the long string of curses and gun-shots? Normally, Sanzo would be more aggressive in answering enquiries.

Sanzo seemed to have sensed their bewilderment, for he pulled Goku into his lap once more despite the stunned faces of his comrades.

"Now if you please, I think I would like to catch up with my beautiful disciple here", he said, nuzzling Goku's neck fondly.

Hakkai and Gojyo stumbled out of the tent and into their own, still trying to process what just happened. Gojyo stared at his emerald-eyed friend, bewilderment in his eyes. A lanky hand rubbed the back of his head, disturbing the blood-colored strands that fell down onto his shoulders.

"Now _that_ was freaky." It was probably the understatement of the year.

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Goku was not used to this. He should have been, but for some reasons, Sanzo's sudden _niceness _was getting to him. It wasn't that he didn't like it, no, he absolutely _loved_ it, but it was just that Sanzo was usually more…aloof.

His inner thoughts seem to have just snorted at that. What was his problem, anyway?

_/ Yeah, you complain when he's cold, and now when he's finally warming up, you complain as well?_ /

/ _Typical **baka**_ /

Deciding that he would rather pay attention to his golden-haired lover than his rebellious thoughts, Goku went about doing the only thing that was wise. He started to peel of Sanzo's clothing, one by one. They were soaking wet, he certainly didn't want his sexy guardian to catch a cold. Besides, Goku was already down to his pants, thanks to Sanzo himself.

Sanzo ravaged his lips as he finally got rid of Goku's sweat-pants, while Goku desperately tried to push down Sanzo's black leather jeans. It was not an easy task, his mind was currently unable to think clearly as Sanzo's hand roamed Goku's tanned skin.

Goku kissed Sanzo for all he was worth, clutching Sanzo's golden head as he brought himself up. However, Sanzo, without any mercy left his puffed up lips and started attacking his neck, leaving little bite marks as he roamed the rest of Goku's body with his hot mouth.

At one point, Sanzo suddenly pushed himself off Goku, and straddled the youth's slim waist. His glazed eyes widened in amazement as he took in Goku's exposed figure, his gaze lingering on Goku's bare chest. It was as if this was the first time that Sanzo saw him, Goku mused rather hazily, as he was once again having trouble thinking properly, Sanzo had began grinding their hips together. Goku let out a loud groan, his hands flailing about, trying desperately to hold onto something. They weren't exactly any bedspreads that he could clutch onto, while Sanzo continued to grind against him, driving him totally insane…

Sanzo finally lowered himself onto Goku's sweat slicked body and lifted a leg so that it was resting on his pale left shoulder. He whispered seductively in Goku's ear.

"I want to be in you…now."

Goku could barely nod, as his hand reached out to his knapsack to get the small bottle of lubricant that Sanzo had purchased at the last town they were staying at.

He screamed out, however, when Sanzo entered him without any warning. Goku couldn't stop the tears from gathering at the corner or his eyse as Sanzo continued to thrust in and out of him, his deep violet eyes filled with unguarded lust.

It hurt. Goku's mind was reeling, didn't Sanzo say that he hated hurting him? Didn't he regret that they hadn't used any sort of lube in the cave that fateful day, and thus the reason why he had purposely went out and purchased some the very next morning?

Sanzo covered Goku's mouth, panting as he quickened his painful rhythm. Goku screamed again, his time into Sanzo's mouth, as he felt his tissues tear. He was bleeding now, he was sure of it. Sanzo's 'love-making' was aggressive and damnably pleasure-filled. Now all Goku was feeling was the….aggressiveness.

Sanzo finally reached his climax, releasing hot seed into Goku. Goku came seconds later, having felt more pain than pleasure and covering both him and Sanzo's pressed bodies in white fluid.

Sanzo then pulled out of him and collapsed onto Goku's body, totally worn out. Goku tried to swallow a choked sob, as Sanzo's arms enveloped him in a possessive embrace. His ass hurt like hell, he couldn't remember the last time when Sanzo had been so violent.

Wait, Sanzo had _never_ been so violent as to actually _hurt_ him before. Sure, Sanzo was very _passionate _in his fucking, but he was gentle in ways that was unlike the usual Genjo Sanzo when it came to taking Goku, so that Goku _never_ felt pain, and that only made Goku fall even more crazily in love with his guardian.

Maybe he was just stressed out. Didn't he say he had got into an _unwanted situation?_ What did that mean, anyway? Goku was about to ask Sanzo, only to find his lover asleep, his mouth curved in what looked like a smirk.

Goku involuntarily shuddered. There was something wrong. Maybe he should finally pay attention to his instincts. They were yelling at him the whole time, telling him that there was something _very_ wrong with the picture.

Goku studied Sanzo's features. He looks the same. He smells the same. Heck, he even _tastes_ the same. But-

_/ Action speaks louder than words. /_

Goku clamped his eyes shut. Was it just him? Or was there something seriously wrong with his golden sun?

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A/N: Eeek…..I really didn't plan for that to happen. Actually, I didn't plan for anything _else_, so…..XD And I was trying desperately to follow the PG-13 rating….did I fail yet _again?_ XD

Hmm….Like Aspara-san once said, 'Reviews makes the world go round'.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, own all of Saiyuki by tonight…XD

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He was pissed off_. Very_ pissed off. He clenched his shackled wrists in frustration. It actually hurt, they were cold and heavy. _/Of all the things in the whole wide universe, Homura chose **this**. /_

Sanzo glared at his reflection in the huge mirror. Gold and blue eyes glared back. Apparently Homura's two lackeys, Shien and Zenon, had imprisoned him in one off the rooms in the tower. Sanzo rolled his bi-colored eyes. He was in the highest tower, playing the damsel in distress.

Sanzo thought it was strange, that Homura actually risked switching bodies with him. Wasn't Homura more powerful than he was? Homura didn't even try appearing in person to snatch Goku, he just cast a couple of transportation spells where he thought the saru would be. Couldn't Homura just transport himself, being a god and all? What was his true objective? The last question reverberated across his mind, leaving an uneasy feeling to settle itself.

Then again, even though being in Homura's body, Sanzo was still unable to just orb out of the tower. Why? Technique. He didn't know _how_ to orb.

Sanzo gritted his teeth. Damn it all!

Sanzo continued to stare at his reflection. Homura's sword was on his belt, adding to the weight on his knees. He unsheathed the sword, watching in slight amazement as flames appeared on its blade. Sanzo swung the sword around, practicing, just in case he needed to behead anyone, say, Shien or Zenon. Or Homura himself. That would be nice. Death by one's own weapon. Sanzo grinned wickedly at the thought.

Sanzo suddenly realized that he looked totally ridiculous, as if he were some hero wannabe practicing for the moment of truth when he would defeat the villain and save the day. Cringing, he replaced the flame sword to its sheath.

Sanzo missed his gun. Badly.

There was nothing like a gun. Reliable. He could shoot someone from a hundred feet away, his Smith and Wesson's was no ordinary firearm. It was _special_, just like-

_Goku._

Sanzo felt his chest tighten in fear as an icy chill ran down his back. How _was_ his young disciple?

Homura would not keep his hands off Goku. He would hurt Goku. And Goku would let him, Sanzo realized in horror. As far as Goku knew, Sanzo was Sanzo, and Sanzo wouldn't hurt him, because Sanzo loved him. And if Sanzo _did_ hurt him, well, it was okay because Sanzo loved him and Goku loved him back.

Sanzo's heart was hammering against his chest. Wait…wouldn't he know if Goku was hurting? Wouldn't Goku call out to him?

No…no, Goku wouldn't do that, because in Goku's eyes, the one hurting him would be Sanzo himself. Why would Goku call out to his own tormentor?

Sanzo suddenly felt weak. His knees started to quake horribly, and he felt a wave of nausea washing over him. Sanzo moved to the bed and sat down on it, his whole body now shaking.

He hugged himself, rocking back and forth, feeling totally weak and helpless. _/ Goku… /_

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Homura continued to mercilessly bruise Goku's lips with his own, as the jeep sped on West.

He had ordered Gojyo to sit in the passenger seat, so that access to the young earth spirit was a lot easier. Besides, in the backseat, he was free to pin Goku down onto the seat, trapping him there with his body. Correction, make that Konzen's body, he thought maliciously.

He had to admit, being in Konzen's body had its perks. For one, Goku was all _his_. Secondly, he was chain-free. That was definitely a thumbs up. And then there was the fact that the dreaded feeling that death was soon to catch up on him had disappeared.

However, the bad thing about exchanging bodies was that he no longer had godly abilities, and he was now vulnerable to the same things as mortals were. Plus it was difficult to orb, he needed intense concentration and it drained him. But as hard as it was, Homura had to admit that Konzen had it better than him when it came to _size-wise._ Oh well, he thought nonchalantly, that didn't really matter, he was the one in Konzen now.

To be honest, Homura hadn't really planned for this whole thing to happen. His original motion was that he captured Goku, so that the earth spirit could make his utopia reality, Goku being the key and all that. He would then live out the rest of his days there, _with_ Goku of course. It wouldn't matter much that he was soon to die, being only a half-god, because he would have destroyed Tenkai, and he would have been satisfied with that.

He had stumbled across the potion in an ancient book from his library, while awaiting Konzen to regain consciousness after being transported by mistake, and as if by a twist of fate, this brilliant plan had formed in his mind.

This way, Homura could live longer, and he would have Goku by his side, by his own will, of course, that was an important fact. Brainwashing was out of the window. That made Homura happy enough to overlook the fact that Goku was clueless about the switch. That would soon change, Homura was confident of that. Goku would one day love him for himself, not as Konzen.

At first, the fact that Konzen's reincarnate being mortal would deeply affect the creation of his new world made Homura have second thoughts about the whole thing. But after thinking it thoroughly, Homura came to conclude that it didn't pose a major problem. Konzen _did_ posses enhanced dharmic power; he was capable of being a medium for the power from the new world. He just needed absolute concentration. It would completely drain him, no denying it, but there would be nothing permanent.

Homura grinned, as he pulled away from Goku's sweet lips. _/ He's so addictive. /_

He never thought, not even in his wildest dreams, that Goku could make him feel that _good._ Of course, it wasn't entirely unexpected, but it had still been a totally exhilarating and mind-blowing experience fucking Goku last night.

Goku's screams and painful yelps had done nothing to dampen the fire in him. Instead it had been strangely arousing listening to Goku's cries of pain. Goku had not begged him to stop, and that was the fun part of this whole thing. Homura knew that Goku would do anything for his precious _Konzen,_ even if it meant pain and suffering.

Homura reached down, below Goku's waistline, and tugged at Goku's pants. He was totally hard, and he needed release. Immediately.

He watched, amused, as Goku's eyes widened, making him look even more enticing. His lips were already cherry red from rough handling, and his face was flushed. His dark-chocolate bangs were sticking to his forehead, slicked with sweat from the heat of Homura's passionate lip-locks.

Homura let out a frustrated growl. He needed release and he needed it _now!_

He was just about to rip off Goku's pants when the vehicle suddenly stopped, causing him to lurch forward and topple ungraciously on the jeep's floor.

"_Sanzo!" _

Hakkai admonishing voice sliced through Homura's lust filled thoughts. "Please, Hakuryuu is certainly not the place for that," Hakkai continued more calmly.

"Yeah, you corrupted monk", came Gojyo's lazy drawl. "You've already corrupted the _saru_, now you want to corrupt _Hakuryuu_ as well?" he went on, bursting into wicked laughter.

Homura decided to ignore the comment, which unbeknownst to him was _very_ unSanzo-like. Instead, he took Goku's hand that was offered rather hesitantly, and promptly pulled himself up from his previous ungraceful position on the jeep's floor.

He then proceeded to half drag, half pull Goku out from Hakuryuu and into the thick forest that was surrounding them on both sides of the road. They had been on the same road for quite some time now, the forest proved to be quite huge.

Goku, not trusting himself to speak, willingly gave into his master's wants.

"Sanzo has gotten a lot more horny, hasn't he?" Gojyo stated, cigarette dangling carelessly from his lips as he watched Sanzo pull Goku from their outline of vision.

Hakkai nodded, agreeing. He was more than a tad bit surprised when Sanzo begun his _ministrations_ upon Goku, especially so openly, in broad daylight for that matter. Hakkai blushed slightly, as Sanzo's and Goku's passion filled cries filled the air. He quickly averted his eyes from Gojyo's gaze as the latter faced him, smirking.

Sanzo's sudden disinterest in their whole journey also didn't escape Hakkai's notice. He knew something was amiss, but _what_, he didn't know.

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Sanzo was starting to feel more than desperate, as once again Goku's almost faraway cries filled his head. His young lover was in pain, he was suffering from none other than Homura's libido. True, Goku wasn't exactly calling out to him, but he could hear Goku's silent cries of _pain_, as Homura continued to play with him.

He gritted his teeth as he tried to cover his ears. No, that didn't help; those cries were in his _mind._

_/ Fucking bastard! Wait till I get my hands on you, Homura… /_

His fantasies of different ways to make Homura suffer slowly and painfully were cut short when a metal tray of food was slipped in through the small gutter hole on his sealed door. He cursed as he took in the contents on the tray. For a prisoner, they certainly served good food. He kicked the tray anyway, spilling almost all of its contents on the polished floor. No way in _hell_ was he going to eat that, gourmet cuisine or not.

And how the hell was he going to make Homura pay, when Homura was out there having the time of his life, and he was stuck here? He could orb, but how the fuck was it done?

Suddenly, as if by some will of the gods, (think auntie dearest), he had a vague idea of what he should do. _/ This had better work. /_ He would have crossed his fingers, but that just wasn't his style.

He focused his mind, and concentrated on getting the heck out of his godforsaken room. The next thing he knew, he was in this tree-infested forest, sprawled on the ground, his mind spinning. He got up and brushed himself, and that was when he heard screams. Goku's screams, he would recognize them anywhere, he was the youth's lover, for crying out loud!

He ran stupidly through the dense forest, almost tripping over the roots that were uptruding from the forest floor, desperately following Goku's cries. Unfortunately for him, they had stopped, leaving him feeling totally lost. Fuck that, he _was_ lost.

He once again wished for his gun, shooting practice could do wonders in bringing down one's stress-level. Swinging swords around did _not_help whatsoever, as he had earlier discovered.

He was brought back to the thought of his escape from the Konran Tower. Truth be told, he had just wanted _out_, and _poof!_ here he was.

Maybe if concentrated on something else, say, Goku for instance…

When Sanzo opened his eyes, with his head spinning again, (even though considerably less painful compared to his previous orb), he was greeted with a less than comforting sight.

Sanzo stared at the scene before him, his eyes almost popping out from his head. There, just behind a thick leafy bush, was Goku, and Homura Taishi in _his_ body, both stark naked, with Homura pinning Goku beneath him. Homura was busy, he was currently licking up what suspiciously looked like semen from Goku's tanned stomach, while Goku had his eyes closed, with tears streaming down his pain contorted face, his hands clutching the golden strands of _Homura's_ head.

The scent of blood was already in the air, and soon, more was to be spilled.

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A/N : o.O …How was it? Too confusing? Boring? Please, don't hesitate to tell…

Wait! One more thing before you decide you've had enough of me! I just want to know what do you guys think of the yaoi scenes…too much…? Too elaborated? Maybe you would prefer something less…picturesque? Or too little? XD

Please, I need to know… By the way, congrats on making it this far and thanks for not abandoning me. Heheh.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Saiyuki does not belong to me.

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Goku's mind was in a mess. A terrible, terrible mess. It had all started a few nights ago when Sanzo had disappeared and then mysteriously appeared again. Goku had tried asking him more than once, _what_ exactly had happened, but Sanzo still remained adamant about letting him know. On top of things, his guardian had been acting quite strangely, very unlike the normal Sanzo that Goku knew and loved.

Of course, Sanzo was Sanzo, and Goku would love him no matter what. That was what Goku had been repeating again and again in his frazzled mind; it was what he had been grasping onto so desperately since Sanzo had begun treating him…differently.

It seemed that Sanzo just couldn't keep his hands off Goku lately. Kissing Goku's already bruised lips had seemed to become a favourite pastime of the golden-haired monk. And it didn't end there, shit no. Sanzo had suddenly developed a sudden interest in broad-daylight-fucking.

He even had to put up with Hakkai's and Gojyo's constant worried glances and muted conversations each time they had to stop Hakuryuu because Sanzo's libido had gotten the better out of him yet _again_.

Under normal circumstances, Goku wouldn't have minded the smallest bit, but in this case, it was different. Because it **hurt**. Badly. He always bled afterwards, and to Goku it seemed that his opening was going to be forever torn. That was not all. For every time Sanzo touched him, his head would scream out that this was totally _wrong_. That this wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

But how could he be sure? What if _this_ was the true Sanzo? That the Sanzo he once knew was just a brief illusion- an illusion to deceive him?

And did Sanzo want him that bad? Was he that satisfying? Sure, as Goku remembered, they were times when Sanzo would watch him with lust filled eyes, as his hands traveled all over his tanned body, teasing him in a way that Goku found so very arousing. But it wasn't like that anymore. Sanzo just saw what he wanted, and he took it. Painfully. At the rate they were going, wouldn't Sanzo soon get tired of him?

A small, tired part of Goku's mind that had already given up hope said, **yes**, yes Sanzo wouldsoon get tired of him, and then he wouldn't have to endure all of this torture day in, day out. That part of his minds was growing larger, every time Sanzo fulfilled his needs.

Goku clamped his eyes shut as his hands gripped Sanzo's golden hair tightly, his knuckles almost white. Tears streamed down his face and onto the ground, where he lay in the nude. He was worn out and very exhausted, and to top it all, he felt _used_. Sanzo hadn't been any gentler this time, and here he was, still on top on him, licking of Goku's semen from the latter's tanned stomach.

Goku'e eyes snapped open when he felt another presence appear. _Why must it be that there's some idiot bastard who wants to actually watch my pride being stripped off by my very own lover?  
_

Homura's presence floated into Goku's muddled mind. He was_ really_ going to lose it now.

_ Of the people on this earth, why must it be **him**? He who offered me a better life, a life of protection, a life of promised love…_

Goku heard Homura let out a low growl, laced with pure loath and hatred._ What was that for?_

_That almost sounds like Sanzo when he caught that youkai trying to touch me, just a few weeks back…  
_

Goku would have laughed out loud at the sheer stupidity of that thought, if only his ass didn't hurt so much.

Sanzo seemed to be taken aback by Homura's sudden appearance- he immediately got off Goku's lithe body and grabbed his robes, leaving Goku fully exposed to the eyes of the world.

"Homura you fucking son-of-a-bitch!" Homura suddenly hollered. Goku blinked, as he got up into a sitting position. He was so very tired, and he wasn't thinking properly, or else the fact that his arch-enemy was staring at him strangely would have been enough reason for him to go beet-red and immediately dress. Pronto. And why was Homura cursing himself, anyway?

Goku's clothes suddenly smacked him in his face, causing him snap out from his daydream-like state. "Put your clothes on, Goku", Sanzo's voice cut in smoothly.

Goku only nodded, and pulled up his jeans. His mind concluded that if he didn't talk much, there was a small possibility that Sanzo might not see the need to bruise his already damaged lips. _ Fat hope, Son Goku.  
_

Goku noted that Homura had unsheathed his flame-sword, and he absently mused of how he had once thought that weapon as totally awesome, until of course until Homura began his very obvious moves on poor unsuspecting him.

Sanzo's hands were on top of both of his shoulders, putting him in front of the monk_. That's weird, where's Sanzo's gun? _

True, Sanzo's gun did not work on the fighting god, but usually that did not stop Sanzo from firing a few shots at the kami anyway. To help stress levels, or something like that.

"Well well well…what do we have here?" Sanzo suddenly spoke, his voice an eerie calm. "Homura Taishi himself?"

Goku gazed at Homura, his nyoibo ready in his hand. There was something off about Homura, for one, Homura was scowling heavily at them, and his mismatched eyes spoke of promised death. Gone were the amused looks and arrogant smirks.

"Goku's mine, you fucking bastard. I suggest you keep your filthy hands off him", Homura said, his voice also laced with cold anger that sounded so very unlike him.

Goku opened his mouth to reply that no, he did not belong to him, when Sanzo cut him off. "Things change, Homura, try to keep up, would you?"

Sanzo sounded almost smug. "Goku loves _me_, he would never change his mind about that."

Homura then pointed his flame-sword at Sanzo, as he took step forward. "Then why even bother with this?" Homura gestured his other hand at the both of them. "Why go through all the trouble is you're so goddamned sure?"

_ Am I missing something here?_

Goku pulled away from his guardian, as Homura advanced closer. He did not like just standing there; it made him feel too vulnerable.

"What are you talking about?" Goku asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He gazed at Sanzo expectantly, his eyes acting as a mirror, showing his open confusion.

"Goku."

Goku practically jumped out of his skin when Homura's deep voice floated just inches away from his ear. He hadn't noticed how close they actually were until now.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Goku yelled, his cheeks tinged with a tell-tale shade of red. The way Homura had said his name…it was filled with unspoken affection…the same way Sanzo used to speak to him- that special tone used only for Goku.

Homura gripped Goku's chin, bringing his face closer. Goku's heartbeat doubled its rhythm as he saw the swirling emotions in those mismatched eyes. What was Homura trying to tell him? Why was he even allowing Homura to touch him like that?

Homura closed his eyes, an unreadable expression crossing his features. He brought Goku's face even closer to his own, so close that they're foreheads were against each other..

Goku's own eyes fluttered close, as his body relaxed. Questions were popping up in his head- why was he doing this, why was _Homura_ doing this, where was Sanzo, what was Sanzo doing; the list just went on and on.

Call it a gut instinct, but Goku just couldn't bring himself to pull away from Homura's sinful touch, as the latter wrapped his arms around Goku in a warm, comforting embrace. He let out a sigh of contentment, and slipped his own hands around Homura's waist.

_Why does this feel so right?_ Goku was unable to provide a logical answer.

Images were suddenly bombarding his brain. They were jumbled up, and did not make any sense at all. There was Sanzo, and Homura, Sanzo was chained, Sanzo was in pain, and….

Sanzo is Homura and Homura is Sanzo.

Goku's eyes snapped open, and he finally understood. He didn't know how he understood, or how this piece of knowledge lodged itself in his mind, it just happened. He couldn't explain it. But some things in life have cannot be explained, and that's how it was for Goku.

Gazing into Homura's, no, Sanzo's mismatched eyes, Goku let the events of the past few days play back in his mind. Yes, **everything** made sense now. Everything was as clear as crystal.

The sudden realization was almost too much for the young earth spirit_. So that's why I thought Sanzo was acting too strange lately…_

_ All this while…it was actually **Homura**…  
_

Goku forcefully pushed back those soul-shattering thoughts into the depths of his mind. He would not think about that right now. About how he was hurt, humiliated, stripped off his dignity, how he was _used_…

He pulled back from Sanzo's embrace as he faced Homura, who had the spirit-ascending gun aimed at them. No, he would take care of that later. Right now, he had even more important things to handle.

He summoned nyoibo once again, as he narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I'm coming, Homura!" he yelled, and charged.

Homura dodged, as his leg came out and kicked Goku right in his abdomen. Goku let out a grunt of pain. Even after weeks of battling with the fighting god, Goku was still unable to predict his movements, and he hated himself for that.

"Now, now, Son Goku," Homura said, the corners of his mouth curving into a smirk. "You wouldn't want to hurt your precious Konzen's body, would you?"

Goku stopped himself just in time from swinging his staff around. He would have snapped off the man's head if he hadn't been listening.

Homura was right, Goku realized angrily. If he did manage to kill Homura, there was surely no chance of them ever switching back. And yet if he didn't, Homura might take the opportunity to kill Sanzo.

With his mind going around in circles, Goku moved back to where Sanzo was. His guardian had just evaded a shot from Homura, using his sword as a shield. He did not trust his supposed god-like abilities to be fired at openly, what if that required a technique as well? Sanzo wasn't about to take the chance to find out.

"Sanzo what should I do?" Goku frantically asked.

"How the fuck should I know?" came the heated reply as Sanzo dodged another round of shooting.

Hakkai and Gojyo burst into the scene, both looking totally shocked as they took in their current happenings.

"What the fuck is going on!"

Surely, even to an erokappa, the sight of Goku by Homura Taishi's side while Genjo Sanzo continued to fire at them was totally insane. It did not make sense at all.

"They switched bodies!" Hakkai exclaimed, being the less ignorant of the two.

Gojyo shook his head, blood colored strands of hair sweeping silkily over his broad shoulders. "We leave the both of you alone for mere minutes, and this is what happens?" Gojyo said. "Shame on you, corrupted monk!"

Sanzo opened his mouth to give an acidic reply, when Shien and Zeon chose that very moment to appear.

"Looks like the party has just started", Zeon said, readying his machine gun.

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"How could you think that I would ever love you?"

The words pierced through Homura's heart like a sharpened blade. He was still trying to figure out Goku's and Konzen's little physic bond. How else could Konzen tell Goku about the switch? And to think, Goku actually believed Konzen.

To think, his plan had been fool-proof. There were to be no mistakes, no bloopers, but here he was, battling against Goku and Konzen, in his body.

How the fuck did Konzen escape, anyway? He didn't actually under-estimate the amethyst eyed man, did he?

The situation that he was in proved that yes indeed, he had under-estimated the whole thing. There was more to Goku and Konzen that met the eye, he was sure of it now, as hard as it was to admit it.

True, Goku wouldn't dare physically hurt him, for fear of permanently damaging his master's fine, fine body.

But emotionally, Goku had hurt him much more than the youth actually knew. Each time Homura fucked him, Goku would cry out Konzen's name, and that would make Homura mad, even though it was only rational, the earth spirit had known nothing of the switch.

And that would make him hurt Goku. Sort of releasing his anger on the unsuspecting youth. And Goku would let him, screaming out Konzen's name yet again- no surprise there.

The fact that Goku would do anything for Konzen, even getting hurt, drove Homura insane. Because he knew, Goku would always love Konzen, no matter what. Goku would never love him, even if he were in Konzen's form.

So even though he was openly taunting Konzen, his insides felt like fire. He felt so….so….

Angry. Hurt. Rejected. He felt as if he were going psychotic. He had even hurt Son Goku, the pure and innocent earth spirit, just because the latter loved someone else. And to think he had once promised Goku protection.

_ Protection from what? Or **whom**?_

The only thing that Son Goku needed to be protected from was he himself, Homura Taishi, the half-breed itan that heaven despised.

What had he been thinking when he had cast that spell? What was he hoping to achieve?

All these years, he had just been running away, fleeing from the truth. He was nothing but a coward. Homura felt his knees shake, he felt too weak even to stand.

They said that heretics either brought you good luck, or misfortune. Looks like Son Goku had gotten the better end of the deal. Unlike him.

Maybe it was not too late. Maybe there was still hope. Homura closed his eyes, as an incantation floated into his mind. It was the third stage of the spell, a stage hardly ever used, that would be against the whole objection of the casting in the first place. The reversal.

But should he?

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A/N: Okay, that totally sucked. oO. Aaarrggghh!

I can't believe you guys are still here, reading third-rate stuff!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N :Thanks for all your reviews! Seriously…reviews are like…chocolate dipped in…chocolate. Eheh.

Oh, yeah. This would be slightly AU-ish.

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Sanzo clutched his abdomen in pain as he fell to his knees. The burning hot pain seared throughout his entire body, as one by one his muscles began to cramp. Determinedly, he kept his violet eyes open even as his vision blurred.

Could it be? Did he even dare to hope?

Just a few feet away from him, his ever loyal pet had begun to panic. _/ Typical saru. /_

His world was spinning now, and he faintly registered Goku's voice ringing in his ears. Ironically, it was the only thing that was keeping him from losing it completely.

Sanzo suddenly felt as it he was floating. Floating around in nothingness, he felt no pain, and he welcomed the sensation with open arms.

"_I love you…please don't leave me…" _

No…

"_Stay with me forever…-Sanzo!" _

Goku…

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Goku was practically hysterical. There he was watching his one and only love go down with pain – and he was utterly helpless.

It wasn't like he could do anything, anyway. _It wasn't like he was actually worth anything. _

Goku blinked. Where did that stray thought come from?

Deciding to brush it off, at least for now anyway, Goku tried to focus on more important things. Like Sanzo, for instance. The golden haired monk was on his knees, his eyes hazy and unfocused, as if he were a million miles away.

Seeing Sanzo like this, it terrified him. Goku couldn't bear to witness his guardian in pain and suffering. It made him mad, angry. It made him want to…

_Destroy._ Goku wanted to rip something apart. He wanted to crush something, to beat it into a worthless pulp.

Unconsciously he backed away from Sanzo. And at that moment, little cracks appeared on his golden diadem. Cracks that grew and expanded at an alarming rate.

A small voice in his mind was screaming frantically at him.

/ _Don't lose control!_ /

But it was too late. Goku shut his eyes tight, and screamed out in agony as his form changed. Changed to his true self. To what he was originally born as. _Seiten Taisei Son Goku._

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_Homura. _

No, not just Homura, it was Homura _Toushin_ _Taishi_. Fighting god.

Anger boiled in his blood as he took in the sight of the kami. He seemed to be in some sort of pain. Goku reached out a clawed hand and gripped the kami's chin, bringing it up to meet his gaze.

Homura's mismatched eyes were sort of unfocused, Goku thought almost curiously. He brought Homura's face closer; examining it with interest.

Homura's eyes were also kinda pretty, he mused, as he watched the hazy bi-colored eyes.

/ _He hurt me._ /

What? Goku started, his vice-like grip loosening slightly as the voice echoed around his head, shattering his moment.

/ _He hurt my sun._ /

Sun?

/ _**Our** sun._ /

Goku's eyes widened, before narrowing them into almost slits. _Hurt_ him, did he? Well, two can play at that game.

He moved back for a little space, as his eager fist readied a blow that would be fatal to any normal being. He didn't like gods. They were cruel, wicked creatures that disgusted him. He could destroy this one easily, but it had been so _long_ since…perhaps he would play for a little bit…Yes, Son Goku _liked_ to play.

He delivered his powerful hit, enjoying the way the earth's aura reached out to him, giving him Her ancient power and strength.

So caught up in his tirade was Goku that the sudden widening of his victim's mismatched eyes did not register to him until it was too late…

He watched for a moment as Homura practically flew a few feet away from him, the result of his powerful momentum. That had felt **good**. But he wasn't satisfied, no, he still had a long list of things to do to the blasted kami.

He advanced slowly to the fallen god, in sly catlike movements, the perfect predator.

_Predator_. He liked the sound of that. It suited him, somehow.

A sudden flash of gold diverted his attention from his prey. He whipped to his right, only to come face-to-face to the most beautiful creature that ever lived.

_Konzen._

Sanzo watched as Goku's eyes gleamed, sending a chill down his spine. He felt nauseated; the sudden switch had left him clutching his ribs, gasping for air.

He mentally scoffed. The **real** reason behind his racing heart was the fact that Goku had almost hit _him_ instead of Homura. If the reversal of the spell had took just a millisecond longer, he would have been in Homura's place, and he certainly didn't want _that_. Well, Fate had its way of happening, and for once, Sanzo was thankful for it.

Seeing Goku like this, in his full youkai form, it made Sanzo feel helpless and weak. He scoffed again. That was probably how Goku had felt in the first place, _helpless_, and it was the culprit of the whole transformation.

As he aimed his gun Goku's forehead, he couldn't help but think that this was Goku, for fucks sake, and he would never pull the trigger. Well, even if he did, the youkai was fast enough evade it, but that wasn't the point.

Gone was the boisterous, noisy, irritating as hell… and _innocent_ Goku that Sanzo had helplessly fallen for. And yet, Sanzo couldn't help but muse, Goku in his youkai form was still as sexy as the Goku he knew. This sly creature was something else altogether.

He was jerked out from his sinful musings when Goku suddenly moved, and the next thing he knew, his back had painfully hit a hard as stone tree trunk.

He let out an unintentional gasp as his gun-hand was pinned to his side, and his other hand shared the same fate, locked just above his head.

Intense golden eyes were suddenly locked with his own, as Goku peered into his violet orbs, as if searching for something. Sanzo unconsciously held his breath; he was smart enough to know that just one wrong move could mean the end of his existence.

The ends of Goku's perfect mouth lifted into what looked like an almost-smirk, as Goku leaned closer to him so that his breath was tickling Sanzo's sensitive ears.

"_Konzen"._

Sanzo gasped out his long held breath as the familiar name vibrated throughout his head, his entire body automatically tensing.

"Konzen…" murmured Goku again, this time nuzzling Sanzo's neck, as a hand came up to stroke the side of his face, his gun-hand released from being pinned to his aching side. The gun slipped from his fingers, and fell to the ground with a small thud. Sanzo didn't even notice.

Goku ran his tongue over the pulse-point of Sanzo's neck, as the latter's breathing quickened. Almost expertly, Goku bit into Sanzo's lily-white skin, causing the monk to bring up his hand to Goku's back, gripping onto the rough fabric of Goku's cape.

As if satisfied, Goku sucked onto the red spot, occasionally licking it with slow, seductive movements. Sanzo bit back a gasp, as Goku pressed his lithe body against his own.

"I'm not Konzen", he somehow managed to croak out, his hand tugging onto Goku's cape, forcing Goku's tantalizing lips away from his neck.

Goku _did_ pull away from him, his perfect lips curving into a sly smirk.

"You _were_ my sun, you _are_ my sun, and you'll always _be_ my sun no matter _what _they call you."

Sanzo's breath caught in his throat as Goku's hand reached up to seductively stroke his face once again.

What was happening? Was _this_ the real Son Goku? And what did this mean, if it were true?

Goku withdrew his hand, and turned away from him. He once again advanced towards Homura, who was leaning against a tree, watching them as blood trickled down his nose and at the corners of his mouth. The kami wiped away the red liquid, his shackles getting stained in the process.

Not far away, Gojyo and Hakkai were not having an easy time with Shien and Zeon, as Homura's two lackeys fought for what they truly wanted. Escape. Escape from this wretched world filled with injustice. They wanted a new world, and they were going to do all they could to accomplish it.

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Homura watched as Seiten Taisei Son Goku neared him, his eyes like those of a hawk, watching his every movement.

He had heard from certain sources that Goku always lost control whenever he was in his youkai form. So why wasn't the earth-spirit going berserk and destroying everything in sight?

Homura couldn't figure it out. Another point for Goku, that makes it two-zero now. He pushed himself from the support of the tree, staggering a bit his knees shook. He knew that he probably looked totally pathetic, but there was nothing he could do.

And wasn't that how Tentei himself saw him? A pathetic, worthless itan? Whatever it was, it didn't matter now. Because it was time.

He unsheathed his sword, watching as it caught flames. It would be the last time he witnessed it; the phenomenal appearance of fire out of thin air, but hell, it would be the last time he withdrew it.

For this was Homura Taishi's last battle.

_A fighting god can only die if defeated in a fight._

At least now he would die with some dignity. Shien and Zeon were of no more; he could no longer feel their presence. He was alone.

Well, that feeling was not new to him, Homura was used to being alone. Sure, Shien and Zeon had sworn their loyalty to him; they had fought to their very end. But Homura wasn't talking about _that_ kind of loneliness.

Goku charged, moving so fast that the god couldn't sense him. His wrist suddenly snapped, as his flame sword was struck out of his hand, leaving trees burnt and mutilated in its path as it sailed through the thick forest.

The sound of malicious laughter reached his ears.

Homura almost cringed as Goku threw back his long tresses, enjoyment written clearly on his face.

He looked down at his shackles.

Yes, why not? It was getting difficult to breathe, if he took them off, he might slow down the process of his death, the consequence of being born a half-breed heretic.

The heavy iron fell to the earth, emitting a loud thud. It caught Goku's attention. It didn't dampen the youkai's blood-lust, though, it sort of multiplied it.

Homura gathered a fire-ball, made out of pure energy. He poured his emotions into it, all of his anger, self-hatred, his devastation, _everything_.

With a heart-wrenching cry, he released his dam of emotion in the form of the burning ball of flame, blood trickling freely down his nose as he watched it head towards Goku.

He half-smiled as Goku easily broke the fire-ball into half, and let out a small chuckle as the flames evaporated.

_/ He's so strong …so fast…so powerful… /_

Homura suddenly found himself on his knees, his vision tinted red. /_So fast…/_ He blinked, and clutched his abdomen. He blinked again, as he removed his hand, only to find it covered with blood. _His_ blood.

He let out a silent gasp, as the pain finally hit him. Never had he felt this much agony, as he saw the holes in his gut. Goku had practically clawed out his intestines.

This was it. This was the moment that he had been waiting for. It would be the end of his pitiful existence, after this there would be no more Homura Taishi.

He forced himself to look up; it was getting difficult to orientate his movements. He was met with Goku's intense golden eyes, eyes that now gleamed with comprehension and undisguised triumph of finally defeating the enemy. (Or the prey, in Goku's case.)

_/ That makes it three-nil, doesn't it/_

Son Goku. The heretic created from the very essence of the earth, the most beautiful being he had ever laid his eyes on.

The heretic which he had somehow fallen for. The same heretic that he had hurt; betrayed. And the same heretic that gave him freedom.

"I thank you, Son Goku."

And with that last sentence, Homura Taishi ceased to exist.

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Sanzo tried not to limp as he made his way to his Goku. The latter was still staring at Homura's body, an intrigued look in his topaz colored orbs.

He had watched, almost horrified, as his young disciple destroyed the fighting god as one would swat a fly. And he had _enjoyed_ it; it was portrayed clearly on his taunting face.

"Goku".

Sanzo fought the urge to cringe as those killer eyes were snapped in his direction. He kept his face emotionless, as Goku's eyes traveled all around his body, sinful lust left unguarded.

Goku smiled, no, _smirked_ at him as Sanzo raised his hand placing it on the youkai's forehead. Sanzo found himself locking eyes with the beautiful heretic, as he chanted the incantation that would replace Goku's diadem.

He had never thought that it would be this easy.

Hell, he had never imagined, not even in his wildest dreams; that his lover would behave like that- Sanzo's neck was still throbbing slightly.

The new diadem appeared around Goku's head, and he fell unconscious into Sanzo's awaiting arms.

Sanzo gazed down at his beautiful lover, as he stroked untamed chocolate locks from his peaceful face. He planted a soft kiss on Goku's forehead when he heard Hakkai and Gojyo emerging from an opening in the trees.

He shook his head slightly, a gesture that meant he'll explainlater Hakkai nodded, and signaled Hakuryuu to morph into the green jeep.

There was sure a **lot** of explaining to do.

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A/N: I totally suck at the fighting scenes. That would explain why I didn't give a blow by blow account about how Shien and Zeon were defeated. .

Thanks for being here!


	11. Chapter 11

Hello again! I was really busy at work – or I would have uploaded sooner….Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed!

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It was warm.

Warm and cozy, just the way he liked it. Goku inhaled deeply, burying his head in Sanzo's chest. The faint scent of Sanzo's cigarettes on black leather, plus Sanzo's own spicy essence was what normally drove Goku insane, the need to be as close as possible to it always overpowered his entire body and mind.

Long and slender fingers came up his back, stroking his skin in delicious yet comforting movements. Goku let out a purr of contentment, as he moved impossibly closer towards the source of warmth.

Something was tugging at the back of his mind, something that seemed urgent. Goku tried to ignore it, he just wanted to relax and enjoy this rare moment.

But the more he tried to dodge it, the more persistent it got. Goku finally let out an exasperated sigh, and lazily went through the events of the day. Or was it yesterday?

Goku suddenly jerked, moving to a sitting position as his memory finally clicked in.

Homura…Sanzo…his diadem…

What happened?

A small noise reached his ears, and Goku looked down only to find Sanzo chuckling softly, as his hand reached up to play with the chocolate locks of hair by the side of his face.

Goku gulped. Was this who he thought it was?

"Bakasaru."

Goku released his breath that he had unconsciously held. So everything was back to normal.

Or so he thought.

"Sanzo…you…you're…_laughing_."

Sanzo's lips stopped its flow of the rich, melodious laughter almost immediately. Instead, he shook his golden head, the sides of his mouth twitching.

"You should have seen your face."

Goku blinked owlishly as he moved back down, slipping his arms around Sanzo's waist. He positioned himself so that he was resting his chin on Sanzo's shoulder blade, his cheek brushing lightly against Sanzo's.

So what if he looked totally ridiculous? At least now he needn't have to worry about being too close to the priest.

"You've just woken up, and now you want to sleep again?" Sanzo's voice was teasing in his ear.

"No, it's just that…", Goku swallowed, before continuing. "I missed you, Sanzo".

It was a miracle that his voice didn't crack.

"Do you mean that?"

Sanzo's own baritone voice was quiet, as he pulled Goku back to gaze into the molten gold.

Goku nodded, trying his best to keep the tears from falling. Of course he missed Sanzo!

Of course he missed just being able to be held like this, without having to worry about being fucked too hard.

Of course he was happy beyond words to have his sun back.

Sanzo pushed him further away, before turning so that he had Goku pinned beneath him. He took Goku's face into his hands, cupping the smooth cheeks lightly.

"I missed you too".

The last sentence was breathed out, barely above a whisper. Goku's heart raced as Sanzo lowered his face, so that their noses were touching. They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment, before Sanzo diminished the space between their lips.

Eagerly Sanzo ravished his lips, as his hands moved to discard of Goku's clothing. Goku let Sanzo's tongue in without hesitation, as it danced sensually in his hot mouth.

Sanzo's hand grazed his hips, and Goku involuntarily shuddered. _It's okay_, he told himself. This is Sanzo, not Homura.

Sanzo's taunting lips left his mouth, only to explore the skin on his neck, the smooth tanned skin that the monk could not get enough of. His hands once again grazed Goku's tight ass, as he his hips ground against the youth.

That was too much for Goku. Letting out a sudden yelp, Goku twisted his body away from Sanzo's eager hands.

_/ It hurts. /_

Homura was dead, but the scars that he left on Goku were yet to heal.

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Sanzo pulled away from Goku so fast that the room was in a blur for about a second. His eyes widened in shock, as he took in the scene before him.

Goku was wearing a guilty look on his face as he brought his knees up to his chess, hugging them.

What the-?

Goku had just stopped him.

Goku had just resented his touch.

_Goku had just rejected him._

Sudden hurt welled up in Sanzo's chest - hurt he never thought he would feel. Not once had he thought that Goku would ever reject him, push him away. It just didn't seem possible.

And yet, here he was, experiencing it for himself.

He fought to keep an emotion-free face as he looked at Goku, his eyes cold as ice.

"Get out."

Goku blinked, as if he had heard wrong. "S-Sanzo?"

He sounded so young, so innocent, so confused. And yet his actions had just betrayed him. No, Genjo Sanzo would _not_ fall for that fake innocence.

"You heard me, get the hell out of here". Sanzo tried not to choke as the words sliced through the air. How strange, he sounded perfectly fine, his voice strong and steady, cold and emotionless, not even shaking once. The complete opposite as to what he felt inside.

He turned away from Goku. He could not bear to look at him. He could feel Goku's eyes boring into the back of his head, and he tried his best to ignore it.

Was this how Goku really felt?

Did Goku really want to cringe every time Sanzo touched him, was Goku just faking it every time they had sex?

Goku's hand reached out to touch Sanzo's back. "Sanzo-"

Bad move. Sanzo reacted as if he were scalded. He slapped Goku's hand away, his eyes murderous.

"Don't you fucking touch me, _itan_."

The words were out before he could register what he was actually saying.

Goku backed away, his eyes filled with hurt and watering as he clasped a hand to his mouth. Turning around, he dashed out of the room in a blur of dark chocolate.

Sanzo dropped to his knees, his head bowed.

How did it all go wrong?

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It was hard to breathe.

Goku choked as he tried to inhale. Running non-stop at full speed for a full mile was not something he did everyday. It was no wonder his leg muscles had all cramped up, and his lungs burning, his side causing him a sharp stab of pain each time he tried to draw in air.

Perhaps he could just stop. Just not take in oxygen. Then maybe it would be easier for everyone.

He diminished the thought as soon as it entered his mind. No, that would be stupid. He would not waste his life like that. He would not throw away his entire existence for …for…

His savior.

His only love.

_His sun._

Goku hit the hard ground with a dull thud as his knees gave away. He clutched his face, trying to stop the dam of tears that were making their way down his cheekbones.

What did he ever do to deserve this?

Perhaps Homura was right. Perhaps it was because he was an itan, and all that itans were ever going to get was pain and suffering.

_Because itans deserved no happiness._

No, scratch that as well. Son Goku was **not** going to give up just like that, letting every mishap just _happen_, or blaming all the misfortunes that bedeviled him throughout his life be blamed on how he was born.

/ _Yeah, keep telling yourself that. /_

Or did Sanzo act like that because he thought Goku was no longer pure? Because he was stained, scarred forever with Homura's lust?

Goku crawled over to the edge of the rock, and peered into the lake. The water was as still as glass and Goku could see his reflection as if he was staring into a mirror, the stars and the full moon providing ample light.

Maybe he should have just kept his big mouth shut and let Sanzo fuck him. That was what Sanzo wanted, right? Yes, Goku should have just kept silent and bore the pain.

But Goku knew Sanzo, and sex was not the only thing that Sanzo wanted, it was not the only thing expected from him on a silver platter. Goku had always seen lust in those hazy pools of violet; he had seen the look in those eyes before he was kissed. And Goku had felt the way Sanzo caressed his body, the way Sanzo stroked him…it was always in passionate yet gentle way, as if Goku were a fragile piece of glass and Sanzo was afraid that he might break.

Was all that a lie?

If yes, then that made Sanzo no better than Homura.

Goku's heart weighed down as this new piece of information displayed itself in his befuddled mind. His reflection on the calm water showed his miserable features, his eyes sad and ancient.

Pathetic.

He looked totally pathetic. Heck, he probably _was_ pathetic. Nothing but a whining, sniveling little brat with no past, and no future. Ah yes, and he was a heretic too, born out of a rock. Just a coincidence?

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Sanzo stared up at the ceiling, watching the fan as it spun around in lazy circles. He was on his second pack now, and beer cans were littering the entire room. And yet he was still awake, perfectly sober. Perhaps he should ask the innkeeper for the strongest liquor in the house.

Then maybe Goku's haunting golden eyes would just disappear from his mind and leave him alone.

Goku had been gone for almost five whole hours now, and Sanzo didn't know whether he should be thankful or not that Hakkai and his kappa lover had been too busy with each other to notice the disappearance of their youngest member. No, wait, the eldest.

Well, certainly the most beautiful, either way.

Sanzo let out a small groan. He was not supposed to think like that. He was supposed to forget all about the teen, he was not allowed to lust after that sexy lithe body, nor the smooth tanned skin, and certainly not the golden pools that he always drowned in. That would no longer happen.

But the more Sanzo tried _not_ to think about it, the more Goku's hurt filled eyes and pained face entered his mind. Sanzo tried to visualize taking his gun and blasting the face into a gazillion pieces.

Nope, that didn't work. The only thing that accomplished was to make Sanzo even more miserable with his life.

Why did Goku push him away, anyway? What was it that went wrong?

The alcohol must have finally taken effect, but in the most bizarre way.

Sanzo let out a silent gasp as he remembered how he had stumbled Goku and Homura together, with Homura all over Goku in the most disgusting way. Only _he_ could touch Goku like that, not some bastard kami.

" Oh **fuck**."

Goku was forcibly raped, wasn't he?

Sure, Homura was still in his body, but that doesn't mean that Homura would have treated Goku any gentler.

Sanzo suddenly felt like throwing up.

He had just destroyed the most precious thing in his life.

Goku was hurt, Goku was in suffering in pain, all because of him. If he hadn't stalked into that damn forest just a few days ago, all of this wouldn't have happened.

And it was Goku's unrequited love for **him** that the earth spirit had allowed to be humiliated like that, to be stripped off his pride and dignity.

And when Homura had been finally gotten rid off, the first thing he did was to jump on the youth.

And when Goku had pushed him away in pain, probably for the very first time, what did Genjo Sanzo do?

He should have just taken Goku's heart and sliced it up before burning them up till the ashes. It would have hurt less that way.

And he had said that he **loved** the him.

The guilt made him feel like he was suffocating. Sanzo stumbled out from his room, not bothering to put on his priest's robes. He had more urgent things on his hands.

He had someone to find.

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A/N: Hahaha……I planned that this would be the last chapter but…

Let's make it a nice even number, shall we? Twelve should do just perfectly.

And I know, I know. This chapter had absolutely no action, and it was as if I was stuck, trying to swim in peanut butter. With extra nuts. o.O


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki.

A/N: Finally, the last chapter! Thank to everyone that reviewed, and even if you didn't, thanks for being here anyway.

(gives a box of chocolate each)

So here's the not so grand finale…XD

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Sanzo practically stomped through the forest, his black sandals crunching on the dead leaves that were strewn on the forest floor. How was he supposed to search for his pet if he didn't even know where to begin?

He lit a cigarette, letting out annoyed puffs of air into the night.

_/ What is it with these fucking forests / _

It was true, whenever there was a forest nearby, something bad was bound to happen. Sanzo couldn't figure out why. From 'mysterious mists' to bloody demons, they all started somewhere in a forest. Perhaps it was just karma. He must've gone on a burn-all-trees spree at some point in his past life.

This was getting him nowhere. If only that idiot had left some kind of trail! Sanzo growled in frustration. He did not like the feeling in his gut that he was getting. Because they were in a _forest_, and _anything_ could happen. From above-mentioned 'mysterious mists' to bloody demons.

For some reason Sanzo suddenly had the image of Kougaiji, and the look in his eyes when he had stared at Goku. _His_ Goku. Dropping his cigarette and putting it out with his foot, Sanzo continued to stalk through the dark forest, cursing. The last thing he needed was to have Prince Charming kidnapping his pet.

That monkey is too attractive for his own good, Sanzo thought haughtily. Goku's image was swimming in his mind, the luminous golden eyes laced with sadness and grief. Sanzo's heart clutched and he quickened his pace.

_/ Sanzo…/ _

Sanzo almost fell down in shock. It had been so long since he had heard Goku's voice calling out to him like that.

Where are you?

Sanzo tried not to breathe, as he waited for a reply.

It did not come.

Cursing again, Sanzo concentrated on the source of the voice, as images of Goku flashed through his head. Goku laughing, Goku looking up to him with senseless adoration, Goku smiling specially for him, Goku when he was stark naked on his bed…

He cast out his senses. Maybe, just maybe…

There.

Sanzo could feel a faint aura, a trace of a presence. He opened his eyes, his violet orbs alive.

_/ I've finally found you._ /

Following the source, Sanzo finally found faint traces of a trail: a few broken twigs, snapped branches, faint footsteps. Nevertheless, Sanzo could not help but feel jittery. Apologizing was not one of his strong qualities.

After what seemed like hours of tracking, Sanzo finally came to an opening in the trees. There, just a few meters from him, was a large lake that was almost fifty feet wide. And perched on top one of the shore rocks was Son Goku, peering into the still water as if it held the secrets of life.

"Goku."

Goku's head snapped up, only to see Genjo Sanzo clad in a loose fitting white cotton shirt and his usual black leather jeans, his golden hair glinting in the moonlight. He looked so ethereal, so perfect, that Goku lost his balance from his dangerous pose just staring at him.

A loud splash was heard as Goku fell face first into the dark water, disturbing the stillness as ripples formed on the surface. He let out a gurgling choke before his head was completely submerged underwater.

Sanzo had his shirt off in a flash, diving after Goku into the strangely lukewarm water, his legs creating large, powerful strokes as he swam towards boy.

Reaching Goku, who had an alarmed look on his face, Sanzo immediately wrapped an arm around the youth's slim waist before pulling them both up towards the surface. Once he made it, he took in deep breaths of air, his heart pounding against his ribcage.

Goku on the other hand was clutching onto Sanzo, his arms around the priest's neck while his legs wrapped themselves around Sanzo's lithe body. The earth-spirit was panting, he had swallowed mouthfuls of lake water and now he was out of breath.

It wasn't until they reached the shore did Sanzo feel like smacking his own head.

In his hurry to dive in, he had forgotten that Goku was perfectly capable of swimming ashore. By himself. Without needing Sanzo to jump in like a goddamn hero.

Scowling to himself, Sanzo reached in his pockets to pull out a soggy box of cigarettes. He glared at it, before turning to Goku to glare at him instead.

And it was then when Sanzo lost his resolve to do anymore glaring.

Goku, drenched wet, was staring off to his side, his large golden eyes seeming more ancient in the moonlight now than ever before. His breathing was no longer rapid, instead it was slow and calm, and Sanzo could not stop himself from reaching out towards him.

Goku finally seemed to have come to his senses when Sanzo tugged at his shirt. Out of shock he backed away a couple of steps before tripping ungracefully and falling down on the ground.

Sanzo slipped off his sandals, before moving towards Goku, his bare feet noiseless on the hard ground. Goku, as if panicking, tried unsuccessfully to scramble away.

Sanzo got down on his hands and knees, so that he was at the same eye level as Goku. He couldn't stop his heart from doing somersaults as he reached to lightly grip Goku's wet chin.

_/ Might as well get this over with. /_

Sanzo gazed into those ancient eyes -eyes that were laced with loneliness, hurt, betrayal…

And fear. The words died in his throat when he realized that now Goku feared _him_, of all people.

_/ Just spit it out, idiot /_

"I'm sorry."

Goku's eyes widened, and Sanzo quickly went on. "I didn't mean what I said earlier. I'm sorry."

Goku opened his mouth to say something, and Sanzo, afraid that Goku might say something that would shatter his resolve to apologize, placed a finger on those lips before any sound escaped them.

"Return to me. Be mine once again."

"I want you. I _need_ you, Goku. I'm nothing without you."

The last sentence was whispered so softly, Sanzo wasn't sure if Goku had heard it. He swallowed uneasily, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the unfamiliar feeling of being nervous.

Apparently, Goku _had _heard him, every word, in fact. Struck speechless, it took a few seconds (in what seemed like eternity for Sanzo) before everything sunk in. And when it did, he sprang up so quickly that Sanzo fell flat on his back with Goku ravaging mouth.

Sanzo was quick in responding, hands slipping around Goku's waist as he let himself be incessantly kissed; Goku on top of his shirtless body.

Sanzo's mind sent off warning bells as Goku's hands starting tugging off his black leather pants. Wasn't Goku not completely healed yet? Then why was he-

_Oh._

Sanzo had always been the one dominating, the one that controlled, but this time…well, this time was different. Sanzo finally pushed Goku's cold and wet shirt off, as Goku kicked off his worn boots.

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Goku explored the lilac white skin of his exposed neck, leaving angry red blotches that left Sanzo groaning and gripping onto Goku's tanned back. Goku then moved to his favourite spot on Sanzo's neck: the pulse-point that was situated right at the curve of his jaw.

He stopped in surprise when his tongue ran over a love-bite. It seemed recent – the skin was still red and tender. He gave it a little lick, his fingers moving to grip Sanzo's hair. He did not remember giving Homura any hickeys when the latter was in Sanzo's body…so…

A faint memory was tugging gently at the back of Goku's mind, and he suddenly saw himself, in his true form, exploring Sanzo's neck. Or rather, as his other self saw it, Konzen's neck.

Goku pulled away, his lips not even forming his question to ask Sanzo when he was roughly tugged down again by demanding hands. He smirked into Sanzo's neck, earning himself a hard smack that sent jolts to the lower regions of his body.

He bit into exposed skin to retaliate, leaving an angry-looking mark. Smirking again as Sanzo let out something akin to a whimper, Goku turned his attention downwards. There were many far more interesting places left to explore.

His eager tongue traveled to Sanzo's hardened nipples, the little pink buttons which were soon red due to Goku's playful nipping and sucking. Sanzo's groans were driving him over the top, he had never heard Sanzo so _vocal _before, and he felt eager and excited.

Sanzo on the other hand was having a hard time just trying to breathe, Goku sending him to the peak of pleasure as Goku took him in his hot mouth. He groaned out Goku's name, not bothering to mask his emotions.

Sanzo had never expected the raw passion and electricity that shot through his entire body as Goku entered him. Shivers of pleasure traveled down his spine, pooling at the lower part of his stomach. He had never thought that Goku could satisfy him this much.

He threw back his head as he cried out Goku's name. It slipped smoothly off his tongue, as though he had done it many times before, but in truth this was the first time he had ever submitted himself like this.

Grasping Goku's damp hair, he urged Goku to go faster, deeper. And which Goku did. Pain mixed with pleasure, resulting in uncontrollable cries of passion from the both of them.

They fell to the ground in an exhausted tangled heap; sweat slicked bodies fitted perfectly as if made for each other.

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Goku awoke once again to the cozy warmth of another's body heat, cotton sheets under him. Snapping his eyes open, Goku found himself possessively wrapped in Sanzo's embrace, with the latter's eyes closed, a peaceful expression on his face.

Wait.

Was all that just a dream? Did the night beside the lake never happen?

Sanzo stirred, his eyes fluttering open to reveal passionate violet orbs. Sanzo's hand reached up to lightly caress Goku's face.

"I carried you here after you fell asleep. And yes, you did fuck me", Sanzo said, light amusement in his rich baritone voice.

It was creepy the way he could read Goku's thoughts.

Goku turned an interesting shade of red when he realized that yes; they were both naked on the inn's bed. He reached out to finger the red marks that marred Sanzo's neck and chest.

Smiling to himself, he moved closer to nuzzle in Sanzo's neck.

Sanzo however pulled him back to steal a kiss from his lips. One could say that Sanzo had learnt his lesson, if it didn't sound so much like an insult.

Never again shall Genjo Sanzo take Son Goku for granted, and never again shall he underestimate the young earth spirit.

Sanzo was sure that Son Goku belonged to _him_, and he was going to keep it that way.

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A/N : The end! Heheh, I know the last part was 101 corny, but I just couldn't help myself.

Thanks for being here. :)

(gives more chocolate away)


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